It’s that time of the semester again. Stress levels are high and morale is low. As finals week approaches, students are scrambling to finish final papers and study for final exams. Every semester at this time, I start to seek advice on how to solve the mystery that is surviving finals. In fact, I’ve died from finals a minimum of three times now. But do not worry, my peers, I am here for you. I am here to provide you with all of the advice that I have sought after and have not received, as I have died a minimum of three times from finals. If you’re one of the people who feel confident about finals and is not scrambling to get work done or don’t feel stressed, you probably don’t exist anyway and therefore cannot die. But no worries! This article is still for you! This advice is universal and can help during any stressful time.

1. Study, study, study!

This probably feels like the most obvious one of my list, but it’s not. I still forget to study. Wait, I’m in school?

2. Seize the memes of production

Studying didn’t work out for you? Don't worry, me either! There’s only one step that makes sense from here. Gather up all of your Marxist memes and use that to fuel your motivation fire.

3. Cry and then sleep

Now that you have your memes all in order, go ahead and cry about the inherent class conflict that exists in America. Then nap! Capitalism doesn’t care.

4. Watch conspiracy videos on YouTube

The only way to truly be enlightened is by becoming woke. The only possible way to become woke is to learn about all of the possible conspiracies that exist in the world. How are you supposed to really pass your Russian final oral presentation if you don’t know that Russia has built advanced technology to allow people to teleport? That’s how they will receive all of their intelligence from other countries, I promise. Good luck on that presentation now that you know that!

5. Take a deep breath and realize it won’t matter when you have a stable career and happy life

These tests will not matter. You will get through this successfully. It will be okay. Plus the steps prior to this one will provide you a deeper personal and social success.