I remember when I was younger I wanted so badly to be popular. It's not that I didn't get along well with the popular kids, I was friends with them I guess, I just wasn't ever their top choice of people to hang out with. I grew up being right around the same area, kind of in the middle of everyone and having friends in just about every group of people in school. I didn't really mind that too much, but I still always wondered what it would be like to have people know who I was.

When I got to my junior year of high school, I became friends with a group of girls that spent most of their time partying. I felt like this was my chance to see what it was really like on the other side, to meet new people and finally be able to come out of the shadows. For the first few months of being friends with them, I loved it. I was able to go to parties, wear cute (and sometimes a little scandalous) clothes, and everything else that goes along with being a "party girl". At last I was able to see what it was like being known.

After a while I realized that this wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. I became upset with myself for letting my curiosity take the best of me. I was lying to my parents about where I was, I was gaining weight and losing money from all the junk I was consuming and I was losing old friends that actually meant something to me. These people that I was spending my time with were not my real friends. They could care less about me or my well being, all they cared about was going out and getting trashed.

I came to realize that this lifestyle was not for me because quite frankly, it was dangerous. I saw people drink so much they passed out, I saw people snort pills, I saw drug deals go down, I saw people take guns out and I even saw people I know go to jail. I had to ask why am I exposing myself to this type of environment? This was not me, but the longer I stuck around it, I knew my chances of it becoming me would rise and I just couldn't take that risk, especially because I had already lost so much.

Getting away from it was difficult, but by slowly distancing myself I found it became easier and easier to avoid them. I gained old true friends back as well as gaining my parents' trust back, which was the most important thing to me. I wouldn't say I regret that time period in my life, because back then it was what I wanted. I'm actually proud of myself for only being involved in it for such little time and learning that it wasn't for me before it was too late. I also don't hate the people that I spent my time with. Honestly, I would like to thank them. By exposing me to the party scene, I saw the person I would become if I didn't remove myself from that quick enough and I'm extremely thankful for that. I am the happiest I have been in an extremely long time and I believe part of that is because I am content exactly where I am and I no longer try to be someone that I am not. Be careful what you wish for, because more times than not you'll end up disappointed.