The Sun Is Way Too Hot

The Sun Is Way Too Hot

And I am full of rage
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I was going to write an article about political philosophy but honestly I'm way too distracted. What am I distracted by, you're hopefully asking? The sun. The sun is a ridiculous distraction right now and I wish it would just stop, and I mean right this instant. It's way too hot. It's absurd. It's not even funny.

Seriously though the sun has been shining for thousands of years and if you ask me it's time for it to be done. Anything above 70 degrees is uncalled for and it makes doing anything impossible. The light hurts my eyes and it burns my skin and it makes me feel dead on the inside and I don't like it. I am legitimately angry right now.


You know what this is, too? It's not even about making plants grow or keeping people alive. It's nothing noble or altruistic like that. Those are just excuses for the sun's pride. The dang thing always has to be showing off, like, "oh look at me, shining and stuff, I'm so big and hot and bright, wow golly gee I'm great" and it's obnoxious. I've had more than enough of it and I'm done. I am 100% done. I get that the sun thinks it's pretty cool, but it's nothing but a ball of hot gas and it needs to be a little more humble, in my personal opinion.

Even typing this article is making me all heated up. What is this? What am I supposed to do? Drink water, put on a fan? Has the sun even considered for just a gosh diddly darn moment how inconvenient that might be for me? I don't think it has. It just keeps going and going without a care for anyone else and I am here to propose a solution that will make it stop for good:

We need to nuke the sun.

I'm not kidding. We had a good run, but this crap has gone on for far too long. We need to nuke the sun and blow it up so that we can get some peace and cold weather. The polar bears will thank us for saving their icebergs and then we'll all live happily ever after, the end.

So any time anyone wants to get on that, that would be great. Until then I'll be eating ice cream and waiting for winter. I don't mean to be rude, I really love the sun actually, I just feel like sometimes it needs a little honest, tough love. I say the things I say because I care about the sun, y'know? When I say nuke, I mean that metaphorically.


You're a good buddy, sun. F'real. You give us life and all that jazz, which is p sweet. You just need to relax a bit for a little while, that's all. Take a vaca, chillax.

We cool fam. We cool.




Cover Image Credit: mreman on DeviantArt

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10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

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1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

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Why I've Never Not Had A Valentine

It's the day of love. It does not mean it has to be romantic.

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If my memory serves me correctly, I have always had a valentine. By that, I don't mean that I have had a boyfriend every single year since I was five.

In Spanish, Valentine's Day is also referred to as "Dia del Amor y la Amistad", which translates to the day of love and friendship. I'm not a big fan of the holiday, because to me someone should show me love every single day, not only one specific day because "everybody else is doing it".

On that note, however, I have always had a valentine. In elementary school, we celebrated the holiday and everyone was each other's valentines. Even that girl (the one who stole your game that you won on Friday because you accumulated enough points to pick it from the prize box) would be your valentine.

In middle school, my grandpa or dad would get me those little chocolate hearts, which are about a dollar at Walmart. I don't recall ever going without one. Then, the next day they'd take me to stock up on candy because of price drops!

In high school, once my friends got their driver's licenses and part-time jobs, we'd finish classes and go to Highway 55 and celebrate Galentine's Day or stock up on cheat day food and go to the park. This year we've all gone our separate ways. We've gone to different schools and maybe communication was just lost, but I'm so thankful for the memories I have with everyone.

This year I'm my own valentine, (which no, it is not shameful) because I learned to love myself enough to celebrate it with myself. Love doesn't always have to be romantic, it does not always mean dinner dates and engagement proposals. Love means calling your mom, your dad, or grandma and wishing them a happy Valentine's Day. It means telling your friends that you're proud of them.

Love means recognizing yeah, it's been a hell of a week, but you got through it. Valentine's Day sometimes means going to your nearest Target, grabbing a bottle of cocktail juice, and putting on a face-mask while catching up on your favorite TV show. Valentine's Day is so generalized to be about romantic love that some people feel alone. You really shouldn't.

If you feel alone, just remember someone loves you for you and maybe it's not your time for romance. If that doesn't help, then I count as your valentine.

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