Trigger Warning: Self-harm, mental health.
As summer readily approaches, I have come to a conclusion about myself and my body image that I never thought I would. I never thought I would have the confidence to actually show anything above my knees, or show my stomach. I have been struggling with my body image since middle school and terrified to ever wear shorts or crop tops. I thought I could live with just wearing jeans and hoodies 24/7 but truth is, I can't do that anymore. I see so many cute outfits and things I want to wear. Thanks to an amazing friend and boyfriend, I have some confidence and I plan on expanding on it.
This summer I will be wearing what I want when I want. I just have one request... If you see my old self-harm scars (and when I say old I mean OOOOOLLLDDD) or my stretch marks from a recent weight gain, please don't point them out or give me dirty looks. This is a hard thing to admit but I am tired of being scared. Yes, mom and dad already know. They've known for years. Preston has known since we started dating. In fact, most of the new people in my life know about it. I have just been so scared to talk to any family about it for fear of being labeled "crazy" or "an attention whore" that I have kept it to myself for about 5 or 6 years. I am done hiding and sweating my ass off in summer. Again, family reading this... Please don't question me. Please don't ask why I did it. I was in a dark place but, I'm not there anymore. It was a hard time in my life but I am doing okay now. I don't take my anger out on myself like that. I write about it (like this) and I talk it out with people I am close to.
Now that this is done and over with, I welcome summer with open arms and cannot wait to rock all the cute stuff I have been hoarding. I appreciate all of your love and support. I hope this doesn't change how you view me or the relationship we may have. As I said earlier, I am better now and haven't had thoughts like this in a long time. I don't need therapy or mental help (at least so far.) Have wonderful, stress-free summer babes. I love you all.
P.S. if you are suffering from dark thoughts like the ones mentioned above, please reach out to someone. Even if it isn't a medical professional, talking to someone and getting it off your chest is the best way to avoid having permanent markings that you may later regret. This stuff isn't a joke and should be taken seriously by both the person dealing with them and the people that they surround themselves with.
SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1-800-273-825