Summer Vibes
Start writing a post

Trigger Warning: Self-harm, mental health.

As summer readily approaches, I have come to a conclusion about myself and my body image that I never thought I would. I never thought I would have the confidence to actually show anything above my knees, or show my stomach. I have been struggling with my body image since middle school and terrified to ever wear shorts or crop tops. I thought I could live with just wearing jeans and hoodies 24/7 but truth is, I can't do that anymore. I see so many cute outfits and things I want to wear. Thanks to an amazing friend and boyfriend, I have some confidence and I plan on expanding on it.

This summer I will be wearing what I want when I want. I just have one request... If you see my old self-harm scars (and when I say old I mean OOOOOLLLDDD) or my stretch marks from a recent weight gain, please don't point them out or give me dirty looks. This is a hard thing to admit but I am tired of being scared. Yes, mom and dad already know. They've known for years. Preston has known since we started dating. In fact, most of the new people in my life know about it. I have just been so scared to talk to any family about it for fear of being labeled "crazy" or "an attention whore" that I have kept it to myself for about 5 or 6 years. I am done hiding and sweating my ass off in summer. Again, family reading this... Please don't question me. Please don't ask why I did it. I was in a dark place but, I'm not there anymore. It was a hard time in my life but I am doing okay now. I don't take my anger out on myself like that. I write about it (like this) and I talk it out with people I am close to.

Now that this is done and over with, I welcome summer with open arms and cannot wait to rock all the cute stuff I have been hoarding. I appreciate all of your love and support. I hope this doesn't change how you view me or the relationship we may have. As I said earlier, I am better now and haven't had thoughts like this in a long time. I don't need therapy or mental help (at least so far.) Have wonderful, stress-free summer babes. I love you all.

P.S. if you are suffering from dark thoughts like the ones mentioned above, please reach out to someone. Even if it isn't a medical professional, talking to someone and getting it off your chest is the best way to avoid having permanent markings that you may later regret. This stuff isn't a joke and should be taken seriously by both the person dealing with them and the people that they surround themselves with.

SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1-800-273-825

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Founders Of Color: Rec Room's Dre Taylor On What Blackness Can Look Like And Not Working For Free

"It mattered to me that when we were depicting racial diversity for Rec Room, we showed the broad spectrum of what Blackness can look like."

Rec Room

The world of sustainable fashion is inundated with marketing gimmicks, false advertising, and large corporations cutting corners — Rec Room is the pure antithesis of that.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dunkin' just announced that they'll be releasing their fall menu earlier than ever — set to debut on August 19 — and that it'll include new menu options this season, including a new signature pumpkin spice latte. Let me just say, Starbucks has some fall-menu competition now.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

CBD Lip Balm Is The Calming Presence You Need In Your Life, Trust Me

I tried lip balm, sleep gummies, and an oil dropper from CBDistillery. Here's the final verdict.


CBD has been on making waves within the wellness space for the last few years. Generally related to the treatment of anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain, it's growing easier to find small CBD companies who are making products specifically designed to fit your needs. As FDA rules for CBD production can be a little hazy, it's true that not all CBD products are created equally. That's why it's important to look into the manufacturing of whatever you're deciding to try, especially if you're new to taking CBD.

As someone who has tried a variety of CBD products — some victories, some failures — I was thrilled when CBDistillery sent me a package of their favorites. They included a Broad Spectrum CBD Oil Tincture, their Nighttime Gummies, and a CBD Lip Balm.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Went To Disney For The First Time Since COVID-19 And It's Officially The Cleanest Place On Earth

I stopped focusing on the pandemic simply because, for the first time in months, I felt safe.

After a few months of self-quarantining, becoming suspicious of every cough, and blowing through masks like a medical school student, restrictions due to the pandemic are easing up a bit and businesses are warily reopening. While these public spaces may look the same on the outside, the way they function and operate is vastly different than a few months ago.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 At-Home Therapy Tips You Need, No Matter What Your Therapy Routine Is

Whether you're in a Zoom session or live-chatting, make sure your home therapy space is good to go.

No matter what stigmas you held about therapy before this year, I'm sure 2020 has affirmed that we could ALL use a nice long therapy session. Between wildfires that took over an entire continent, a global health crisis, and what's sure to be one giant circus of an election in the United States, we need help and we need it now.

The fact of the matter is, therapy has been a helpful, valid resource long before the world decided to become one giant dumpster fire. Having a safe space to discuss what's going on in your life, worries you have, and struggles you're facing has become a very normal thing for individuals' mental health.

Keep Reading... Show less

When it comes to wedding planning, each and every detail is customized to the style of the couple. From venue and decorations to food and beverages, nothing gets overlooked — whether your wedding is big, small, or virtual.

The same thing goes for invites, which are getting more and more beautiful every wedding season. If you're looking to customize your wedding invitations, the options are endless... you can add pictures if you wish, opt for fancy artwork, or keep it simple with just text).

Keep Reading... Show less

23 Burning Questions We Have For The Taureans In Our Lives, Answered By A Taurus

The remaining 11 signs took the bull by the horns, and it was a fun and insightful experience!

Jordyn Leach

Lately, I've been digging deeper into astrology and studying my sign. Throughout the journey, it's come to my attention that Taurus are probably one of the most complicated signs - that is, if you're not a Taurus.

To gain a little more perspective on how my sign is viewed by the others, I requested that the participants submit a question in response to the following:

Keep Reading... Show less
Universal Pictures

A music enthusiast like myself has a playlist for every mood. Life's a movie and you're the main character. In no specific order, listen to these songs to feel on top of the world!

Pro Tip: turn your crossfade up to 3 seconds for a seamless transition between each song!

Keep Reading... Show less

It's the most wonderful time of the year again — it's sorority recruitment season! While recruitment can be a fun and memorable experience, it can also take a toll on your mental health, especially this year, considering the special circumstances brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are a few reminders to keep in your mental health toolkit during recruitment week to help keep your mental health at bay during this unique experience.

Keep Reading... Show less

We've all been there. You see that super cute guy on your dating app of choice, his bio is funny, and then, the gut-wrenching feeling hits when you see their political views don't exactly line up with yours. He loves Trump, you can't stand him, or vice versa.

A lot of people will say you can get over politics, but I know from personal experience, as well as this survey, that politics play a huge role in whether a relationship will work or if we're even willing to swipe right on that profile.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments