It only took me six weeks to realize how much I have grown and changed, not physically but also mentally. When I was given the opportunity to work alongside healthcare professionals in a hospital as prestigious as Long Island Jewish, my outlook on life had slowly but surely begun to vary. When I walked down the hall of my unit the first day, I was filled with both excitement and qualm. My eyes were unable to focus on any one thing for more than a few seconds. My childlike tendencies surfaced; however. I soon realized that almost every patient I had encountered in that hallway had taken a piece of my innocence and replaced it with something greater.
Her name was Christina. She was eighteen years old with glasses and long dark brown hair. I was so excited to see someone that I could relate to that I nearly forgot that she was a patient. When we spoke, it was as if we already knew each other. I later found out that she was suffering from anorexia. Throughout the past year, she had been hospitalized five times and it had nearly stopped her from graduating high school. Still, I didn’t want to treat her differently. She did not want to be nurtured and coddled; there were enough nurses for that. She needed a friend at the moment. Then one day I came to work and she was gone and a new resident had taken up her bed. It was sad to see that she was no longer there but I was content that our paths had crossed. Christina had given me the ability to listen and evaluate the experiences of others. Becoming aware of our personal insecurities and self-esteem is just one of the qualities that indicate the transition from childhood to adulthood.
Nancy was another patient who had made me become conscious of the fact that I was no longer a juvenile. She was an 86-year-old redhead which astounded me because Nancy looked very good. When she spoke to me I could easily tell that her life was full of warmth and happiness. She explained that she threw herself a birthday party every five years because she never knew when it would be her last. I assured her that she would have plenty more to go but she always laughed. Before she retired, she had owned a flower shop in Manhattan which was very difficult. Yet, Nancy said that it was making the customer’s day and even encountering celebrities like Al Pacino that forced her to keep the flower shop for over twenty years. One day Nancy pulled out a photo of a beautiful middle-aged woman holding a bouquet of flowers with a crown on her head. She informed me that it was her after she had placed 2nd in the Miss Senior New York competition. It seemed as though Nancy had lived a very entertaining life. There was no suggestion that she was bothered by the fact that she needed to get multiple surgeries to deal with her gastrointestinal issues. She just wanted to enjoy her journey before it was over.
Many people directly attribute age to adulthood, but I personally believe that you need experience. A person has to encounter great moments or even people as I have. There is no particular moment when we realize that we are suddenly adults. It takes maturity and an open mind to let self-improvement in. I have grown by watching my patients and listening to them tell me their stories. I am now able to see the various shades of grey between the extremes of black and white in every situation. The patients at LIJ have given me, in my mind, the hardest of all qualities to master-strength. We all need the strength to be alone, to continue after a closed door, to surmount the doubters, to carry our faith, and to hope for the best. My transition into adulthood is not yet over. I have so many more people to meet.
