Like many other kids, when I was ten years old my parents sent me to sleep-away camp for the first time. When some people tell the story of their first year of camp, it goes something like “I fell in love the second I stepped onto camp.” For me, this was not the case at all. My first week of camp I cried basically all day, writing my parents letters about how I was completely packed waiting for them at the gate to come pick me up, not participating in my activities, not eating very much at all, et cetera. I’m sure I was a miserable camper to have (sorry to my counselors that summer).

After that first week, I’m not sure what changed but something inside me clicked. I started to make friends and suck it up a little bit. I thought to myself, “Well, if I’m going to be here I might as well have a little fun.” It also helped that the Macabbiah theme that summer was Harry Potter (my absolute favorite series). By the end of the session, I felt the magic that is Camp Eisner. I finally understood what everyone was talking about. On the last day of the session, I bawled again – but this time for a different reason – I couldn’t stand the thought of going home and leaving all the friends I had made.

I didn’t realize it then, but that summer was a huge turning point in my life. It taught me the concept of delayed gratification, or rather “living ten months for two”, which was a much easier concept for my 10-year-old self to understand. At camp, I felt at peace with myself. I had the ability to explore my religious beliefs while having fun with friends at the same time.

However, being at camp taught me much deeper lessons than how to shoot a bow and arrow or make lanyard bracelets (both very valuable skills). Growing up spending every summer in a bunk with eighteen other girls throws you headfirst into one big lesson about accommodating for many different types of people. The messy girl, the neat freak, the over-sleeper, and the one who needs absolute silence to sleep at all, to name a few. Being a camper also taught me when to be affectionate and when to give personal space. Anyone who knows me personally can attest to the fact that I am naturally a very loving and huggy person – and I believe if I hadn’t been to camp I might have never learned how to distinguish between when is right for a hug and when to get as far away from someone as possible. Some people just need their space, which is something I didn’t understand.

Being comfortable in one’s skin is a luxury that not many people have. Believe it or not, before I was a camper at Eisner I was very quiet and uncomfortable with who I was. I thought that if I truly opened myself up to people I would get ostracized. I was overjoyed to find just how incredibly wrong I was. One of the most beautiful things at camp growing up was how obnoxiously and overtly me I could be, with no fear of judgment. Thanks to Crazy Hat Day, square dancing with the Fireflies, all-camp dances with DJ Todd, and all the crazy evening programs written by my incredible counselors over the years, I had not a care in the world. I could walk out of the bunk wearing four different neon colors, a tutu, and a fluffy top hat and be considered cool. That was one of the more mind-blowing things for me. At home, I had felt uncomfortable even wearing regular clothes, but here I was wearing nothing that matched and people still thought I was awesome. Now, one of the ways I describe myself is “completely and utterly shameless”. Yes, I’m silly. Yes, it can sometimes be overpowering. But I am completely confident in my goofiness, which means that I can sing a silly song while galloping around the bunk in a onesie and not give a damn what anyone thinks of me.

This freedom is what makes people keep coming back to camp, I think. Why else would I be sitting here writing this article, preparing for my 10th summer on camp if there wasn’t some sort of magic surrounding the Eisner bubble? Something we love to talk about is our return rate. I’m about to begin my second summer on staff and I’m so fortunate to be able to give back to the community that raised me. Something that a lot of people don’t realize is how lucky we are to live in such a wonderful place for two months of our lives and work with people we love. Yes, being a real adult can sometimes be miserable. But if we focus so much on the negative, we lose sight of the beauty that lies directly in front of us. The double rainbows after a hailstorm, the click of spoons on Friday night at Shabbat dinner, the joyful voices of Bonimers in the pool with their Olim buddies during free period. I am reminded of all of the reasons that I keep coming back to camp even when I’m not there, whether it be by talking to my camp friends that I’ve had since I was ten years old or by finding out that someone in the unit below me is going to college in my city or by seeing photos of my little sister’s friends at NFTY kallot at camp.

I guess what I want to say is thank you. Thank you to all of the people in the Eisner and URJ community who have touched my life, and made me a better person as a result. I keep coming to camp because I aspire to be a better person, a better Jew, than I was the summer before. Because of these individuals, I have the motivation to keep going even on the worst of days. So thank you for making me a go-getter and telling me that even the loftiest of goals are attainable. Eisner is, and will always be, my home.