I was sitting watching The Food Network and scrolling through Facebook when I see a post pop up about my friend having to do her taxes for the first time. Then it suddenly hit me. I am 21 and have absolutely no idea how to adult. Food Network wasn't making me feel any better, because there were literal children on there who owned their own bakery -- they probably know how to do their taxes. So right then and there I made a sweeping declaration, like the girl who gets way too drunk and says she's "Never, ever drinking alcohol again." This summer is going to be my SUMMER OF ADULTING.
1. Learn how to do taxes
Really this just consists of turning on Turbo Tax and clicking the correct buttons, but I still have to figure out when taxes are due--I mean, it is considered an entire 'season' -- and what the hell a W2 is. Why can't they have normal names like "This is proof that you work for a company and should get money back" (well obviously something catchier than that, but you get the idea).
2. Obtain a credit card
First off real-world, there are TOO MANY credit card options. And how am I supposed to choose what kind of rewards I want to receive? I want all of the rewards. Give me airline points plus cash-back on gas, oh and throw in a side of 0% interest (again, not completely sure what that is or what a good number looks like but this sounds pretty nice). As lost as I am? Not sure if you even have credit? Thank god Google exists.
Also, why do they always swipe the card the wrong way in these commercials? How do they expect us to succeed??
3. Do car things
If only the movies were true and some big hunky man would just appear when I had car troubles, and then obviously we would fall in love, settle down and have a few children. But, movies lie, and sometimes you are on your own, so we better learn how to change a tire. There are also a lot of fluids that you are supposedly supposed to put in your car (besides gas) that keep it running, so it's research time. Learn all about oil changes and what the hell Jiffy Lube does.
4. Balance a checkbook
I may be able to skip this one, I mean do people even use checks anymore? I'm more of a Venmo on-the-go-gal than a 'holding onto a small piece of paper worth potentially thousands of dollars' gal.
5. Buy a blazer
Being an adult comes with hundreds of job applications and mock interviews with yourself in your bedroom mirror. So let's ignore the hard part of finding a job and start off with a baby step, buying a GD gorgeous blazer. Dress to impress and you're halfway there.
6. Learn how to frickin' live on your own
I have never lived by myself, and frankly I've watched too many episodes of "Criminal Minds" to ever want to. But inevitably, it will happen, so I need to prepare. Ultimately I think this will end in a few sleepless nights and candlelit dinners (not for romance, obviously, but to save on utilities!)
There are a million other things to add to this list before I'm even close to prepared to fully adult-but, baby steps. Maybe I will add a part two, or maybe I will be too exhausted from all this growing up. We'll just have to wait and see.
