I'm so sick and tired of people claiming to care. Either care, for real, or just stop kidding yourself. People can tell when it's fake even when you think you play the "mourning" card so well. Try these in addition to building some empathy:
Maybe instead of saying "I hope all is well" when I tell you I'm going to a funeral, you say "I'm here if you want to talk!"
When people come to you and tell you exactly what they're struggling with (or if they don't), you need to keep reaching. They're giving you a hint, subtle and easily missed but a hint none the less. If you push them off, especially over and over again, it will reinforce the idea that they don't matter.
Maybe if you notice your friend not keeping her nails done, when she always used to before, ask her what's up?
It could be something simple, but most likely it isn't. Maybe she lost her job, or her pet is sick, or she's depressed, or just wants to talk about it. You don't know. Never assume you do, because you sure as hell don't. It's never a waste of time or breath to ask someone what's going on with them.
Maybe if you stop focusing on grabbing a quick selfie, and started grabbing a quick meal together instead?
Y'all are too self-absorbed. If all that matters is posting a picture on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter... do that by yourself. Yes, you'll have photos but will you have real genuine memories? Will you have memories of someone else other than you? Will you have quality interactions and conversations? Or do you have to make sure people know you have a life, and look good?
Maybe if you confronted issues instead of pondering them?
If you have issues with someone, say it. Nobody can read your mind. We don't have that technology yet, so use your brain and SPEAK. God gave you the gift of communication, in all different forms. Don't tell everyone else other than the person your problem is with. Don't "leave it" for later, and forget. You need to realize there is an issue and address it like an adult.
Maybe if you stopped pretending?
If you dislike someone, don't go out of your way to spend time with them. Forgive them and remove them. Nobody needs negativity or forced happiness. It's not good for your mental health, and it's not worth the energy. (TRUST ME!)
As someone who has struggled for almost half her life with mental illness, failed suicide attempts, and suicidal thoughts, just care. Go out of your way to care. It will be shot down, but don't stop trying. Just you making the effort proves that we aren't a complete lost cause.
Every 16.2 minutes, someone commits suicide in the United States. In the time it took you to read this... at least one amazing, beautiful, talented, extraordinary, kind, and loved life was lost. So stop fucking around, and start DOING SOMETHING.
If you or someone you know is suffering, please reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7/365 at 1-800-273-8255. You are loved. You are important. You are the best. Please keep being.
