Ohio State University's Fisher School of Business recently published an astounding research report. According to Dr. Daniel Groudle, Ph.D., nearly 98 percent of people on Facebook are either pregnant or your aunt.
"Many people in the community have had a hunch about this connection for years. In 2011, my Aunt Jeanine first tried to add all my friends", asserted the 29-year-old doctor from Nashville, Tennessee.
Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg was unavailable for comment on the matter. He was quoted in a recent article stating, "Facebook is still cool! Look at Myspace or Friendster. Still cool. There are no fads in social media. What's here is what is here to stay".
The study looked at over three years of trends on the social media site and used work from more than 30 research assistants. Groudle spoke very highly of every single member of the research team he put together.
"This took years of hard work and a lot of man power," said Groudle while wiping sweat from his furrowed brow, "I'm proud of each and every person I worked with. Every time my fingers were banging on the keyboard at 3 a.m. I knew that plenty of other hard workers had my back."
After news first broke, your Aunt Mary issued a public statement saying, "Wow! What a handsome man, great pic!"
