If you were to ask me what my religion is, I'd tell you I'm basically Christian. Because I am... but not really.

See, I go to church on Wednesday for the young adult group and on Sunday for church (yeah, I'm that person) and I listen to gospel and Christian rock music and I try to emulate most of the Christian values. So in that sense, I am Christian. Well, on the surface at least.

Dive a little deeper in my faith and things get complicated.

See, when I close my eyes to say "grace" before I eat, I don't thank God for my food but rather quietly acknowledge that I am grateful for everything that has allowed me to eat.

And when I listen to the pastor preach about God and the Bible, I don't feel as though I'm hearing the words of an all mighty creator but rather like I'm sitting in a philosophy class that explores how to live one's best life.

This is not something I chose. I miss the days when I could put all my faith in a higher power. There's safety and comfort in that. I miss that feeling of getting swept up in the all mighty power of God. I miss feeling like no matter what I was going to be okay because God would always be there for me and God had a plan for me and he loved me so much that he let his only son die on the cross for me. That's so powerful and moving! It's definitely a switch to go from believing that to seeing God as more of a therapist who wants good for me but can't necessarily do anything or protect me from the world.

But usually, people don't want a deep answer like that for such a seemingly simple question. So for now, "basically Christian" is the best reduction I can come up with.

Or maybe I'm not even Christian at all and just have some weird sort of spiritual side. Who knows?