A big misconception that people have about identities, specifically sexuality, is that you will always know what you are immediately, and you stick with that for the rest of your life. That is, however, simply not true.

Sexuality is a very large spectrum, much larger than you could ever imagine, and it may just take you years to find out a label you identify with. Research might just be required in order to find one, or someone might bring it up by a stroke of luck. Or, you can choose to go without a label! How you choose to identify yourself is completely your choice. Just know once you do find your first label, if you choose to have one, it's okay if that label changes. Time goes on and people change, characteristics get revealed. You can identify as a bisexual at first, then a pansexual, question being homosexual and then go straight back to being pansexual. That's okay! I did it myself, going in that exact pattern. And if you are talking about strictly sexual identities and not romantic, there’s more than the normal sexuality spectrum; there’s the asexual spectrum too! You can be asexual, graysexual, demisexual and so forth. You are not broken if you do not have sexual feelings for people, or sexual feelings for one gender and not the others, even if you like all of them romantically. Or it can be the opposite: the aromantic spectrum is just as large, and you are not a freak for still having sexual feelings even although there is no romantic feelings. There's no rush in this world to figure out who you are, no matter the age.

The same goes for gender identities too. You may be thinking that it's pretty easy to pick out the gender you feel like. Wrong! There is 63 or more genders, and each one is unique in its own way. Identifying as cisgender and then realizing that there is an actual word for the gender you are is a magical feeling, but just like sexualities, it might take a bit of digging. Like I mentioned before, there is a lot of genders to choose from. And if those keep changing based on how you feel, there's an identity for that too! It's called genderfluid, and it gives you the freedom to fluctuate between the many different gender identities. Gender is a spectrum that has yet to be covered fully, and if you can't find one you identify with at all, that's fine too. The only thing you should consider is what pronouns you want to go by - they, he, she, or a combination of those. Being called by the wrong pronouns can cause a lot gender dysphoria, so make sure to tell those who understand non-binary genders the pronouns you prefer, and remind yourself that you are what you identify with whenever you're called by the incorrect pronouns.

You may also get a lot of people claiming that what you identify with is fake, imaginary, or not an actual sexuality or gender. Those people, frankly, are ignorant. Unfortunately not everyone in today’s society has spent the time to realize that there is more than ever imagined when it comes to sexuality and genders, let alone the sexualities that have sprouted from non-binary genders. Only you can know who you are inside, so don't take the influences and words of others to heart.