Let me start off by saying I'm almost embarrassed to write on this subject. This is something that I have been hiding behind and trying to manage since I was 12-years-old. Fifteen years of my life. Unlike many people who deal with adult acne, it wasn't something that just appeared when I reached adulthood. I have had crappy skin since day one of puberty and still have crappy skin coming up on thirty years old. It's not just something to "brush under the rug." This literally has affected multiple aspects of my life. From forgoing social activities (not very social to begin with anyway) to missing out on job opportunities. Recently, I've been dabbling in modeling which is something that I've always wanted to do, but with my recent flare up everything has to be put on hold. This isn't something to take lightly and when it is all said and done, it will have cost me thousands of dollars.

I remember my first "zit" like it was yesterday. It was the 7th grade, and it was the first day back after Christmas break and I had a couple big red ones on my nose. I was so sickened by this, but little did I know this was just the beginning the worst was yet to come. Throughout middle school, I had breakouts here and there, but I don't think it was until I was about 15 and in high school that I actually went to the dermatologist for the first time.

I feel like after that first time I went, it was the same thing every couple of years. I'd get it under control to the point where I actually had decent skin and then it would flare up again a year or so later. Anytime anybody would ever compliment me on my skin, I would literally laugh because they had no idea the ongoing struggle that I've had with it.

By the time I finished college, I was still breaking out with cystic acne and each bout that I had of it was worse each time. For those of you who have not suffered from painful, cystic acne just imagine a cluster of throbbing bumps making that entire area of your face sore and there is literally nothing that you can do about it. Cystic acne does not come to a "head" which means it can be under your skin for weeks or months, causing pain and making you look anything but beautiful.

The bout of it that I had before my current one was about two years ago and I was put on oral antibiotics for the first time. I took the pills for about 6 months and it seemed to do the trick. However, a couple of months ago I started breaking out worse than I ever have before so they didn't get rid of the acne for good.

I'm literally in the throughs of it right now and it's misery. My makeup routine has gone from 20 minutes to 40 minutes and even with that extra time spent, it's still not enough to cover it all up. I went to see a dermatologist last week, but like usual I felt like I was just in the conveyor belt of patients going in there. They just want you in and out and don't really care about your story.

However, I am trying to be hopeful about all of this. As bad as it is, I know it would be a lot worse. I have an appointment scheduled this week to see a doctor who specializes in all natural acne treatments where they take into account your lifestyle, diet, etc. and really look at an examine the type of acne that you have when treating it. Medication, both oral and topical has only been a temporary fix for me so I'm hoping that I can see some results by trying to tackle this thing from the inside.

I want to conclude by saying that if you do have clear skin and you've never struggled with acne, don't take it for granted. It's anything but fun to have a skin care routine that combines both acne treatment and anti-wrinkle treatment in your late 20's.