It grabs a hold of your heart and refuses to let go. At first it’s slow and you try to convince yourself that it will go away. Eventually, the thought of talking to them on the phone will make it worse, and the best thing you can do for yourself is isolate yourself with Netflix and Nutella.
No matter what I try to do to fix it, there is no cure to homesickness aside from being home. It’s an epidemic unlike any other; it makes the heart ache, and it makes the heart feel displaced. No one likes feeling displaced.
You distance yourself from others and listen to music that reminds you of winters at home or summers with your best friends. Instead of occupying time with sorority sisters, it will be spent loading up on any sort of work or assignment you can get your hands on. The busier you are, the less time you have to cry out about your problems, let alone think about them.
As it all starts to build up, there are side effects -- in my case, controlling whatever I can, even if it is the smallest of things. Our lives are uncontrollable, they become intolerable. One never thought leaving family could cause so much damage to the soul.
But it can, and it will.
Most of the time you know you made the right decision. You love your classes, you've formed lasting friendships with some of the most kind-hearted people, and you’ve learned the importance of independence. But sometimes it is not enough, and that is when the homesickness grabs hold.
Then you force yourself back to reality by calling Mom, Dad and Mimi. They all say the right things and remind you how loved you are, that they are only a phone call away and no matter how many miles are in between, they love you to the moon and back.
They will remind you about the ambitious 17-year-old girl who was wide-eyed and worked her, pardon my French, ass off to get to where she is. The brave girl who decided she should move 1,000 miles away so she could grab a hold of the future she wanted. They will reinstate the faith in you that you seemed to have lost along the way.
Maybe homesickness is simply a loss of faith.
Or maybe it’s just a sign that you need to call your family and remind them how much you love them.
