I consider myself a pretty lucky kid who had an amazing childhood, thanks to my parents. The reason for this I know now since I am almost out of my teenage years. While I was growing up, I had the most amazing parents, best siblings and all around great family. I grew up around families pretty similar to mine and tended to be friends with kids who had the same types of families as me.

I never quite realized how lucky I was to not have such strict parents until I got to the end of middle school and the beginning of my high school career. Growing up with two older brothers, I had seen it all before. Nothing I would do was going to shock my parents, they were ready for it all.

I consider myself to have a pretty normal high school experience. They didn’t have any extremely ridiculous or strict rules for me while in high school except encouraging me to make good decisions and try my best. I always was so incredibly grateful for that. While I grew up with my parents who never fit the “strict” category, I had the opportunity to see some parents while I was growing up that did completely fit that category. Better yet, they were the epitome of it.

Some people enjoy that they grew up with structure and that their parents were strict with them, but I see so many negative things come out of strict parenting that I have come to notice and take note of in my most recent years.

First, I’m sure you have all heard it, “Strict parents create sneaky kids." I could not agree with this statement more. If you’re a strict parent and you do not let your kids experience new things and live life their way, then chances are they are going to do it anyways but behind your back. No parent wants their kid to drink in high school. We have all heard the horror stories, but let’s face it, chances are high that they will.

This isn’t the end of the world. Parents should be promoting to their kids how to drink responsibly, make good decisions and be smart. That way, kids are honest about what they are doing on a Friday night after a football game, or after that Homecoming dance. No kid wants to hide what they are doing from their parents, but when parents are threatening and strict, kids don’t really have a choice and they will just end up doing it behind their backs if they really want to drink or do whatever.

Now that I am in college, I look at kids who are still in high school and see how their parents are reacting to their culture and it only creates these kids to be sneakier and hide things from their parents.

I was always raised on the basis of trust with my parents. Trust was huge. The second I lost their trust, it was game over for me. High school is when I learned that I needed to just be honest and truthful with my parents and hopefully they would be a lot more trustworthy of me and let me do more things because of the fact that they actually trusted me to make the right decisions.

Having your kids be safe and smart is much more important than anything else and that all comes from education and having a strong base of trust between parents and kids.

Of course, I am not implying high school teens need to be able to do whatever they want. The structure is incredibly important, but sometimes kids need to be kids, and there is nothing more important than making sure they are safe and smart about it. Parents need to understand that.

Being strict isn’t always the best way to parent your kids, and I know that to be true from experience. I’ve grown up with so much trust between me and my parents and that has become apparent to me in my most recent years. They let me be a kid, make mistakes, and learn from them, and I am so grateful for that.