I grew up in a household with a culture that may not be the norm in the U.S. Both of my parents came to the U.S. from the Philippines and worked hard to give my little sister and myself a better life. As the first born in the family, my childhood was pretty unique. Not because of my family's culture, but simply because I was the first born. My parents had no prior experience raising a child so of course it was a learning experience for them. But, the one thing that was clear was the values that they were determined to instill in me.
At the mere age of 8, I already had something planned out to do with my life, something that a lot of people don't come up with until much later on. If you were to go up to a child in 3rd grade and asked what they wanted to be in life, they would probably say a doctor, teacher, a princess or a policeman. For me, it was a professional golfer. We all know that our parents would do anything to support us, and mine surpassed every expectation. I am so grateful for all of their support, even though I may not have shown it 100% of the time before.
When I tell you my parents supported me, I mean they really did everything they could to help me reach my dreams. At only 12 years old I was already traveling around the country to play golf and build up my resume to make it look appealing to college coaches and hopefully attain a scholarship. My typical day was wake up, school, homework, practice, study, eat sleep, repeat. No playdates, no sleepovers, and rarely any trips to a friend's birthday party. I wasn't allowed to practice until all of my homework was completed. When I did get to practice, rain or shine, I couldn't leave until I made 100 straight putts. What a life for a 12-year-old.
The experiences of traveling to tournaments were filled with lots of memories with my family and so many opportunities to go to places I would have never had the opportunity to have gone to. Playing tournament after tournament with all of the pressure of having to perform well because my future depended on it was tough for a kid my age. That time in my life was filled with lots of tears and times where I wanted to give up because the game that I was playing was slowly beginning to turn from something I loved to do to something I dreaded. It was a lot for a kid to handle.
Looking back at it now, everything my parents did had a purpose.
The long nights practicing helped me to develop perseverance, and laser focus and concentration. The days where my parents would quiz me at night for tests and would refuse to sign papers with grades less than an A helped me to understand the importance of education and holding myself to a higher standard. Playing with the pressure helped me to develop mental toughness, grit, and a fire within myself to love the thrill of competition. And now, all of those times arguing and crying makes currently writing this on an airplane headed to a training trip to Florida in the dead of winter with my teammates of Division 1, 4-year university, so so worth it.
As a kid and as many kids feel growing up I wasn't a fan of my parents at the times they were so hard on me.
At one point (and comparable such an early point one's life) I almost gave up on the biggest thing I was passionate about. But, who were the ones who pushed me to keep going and reminded me that this was a gift given by God and a blessing I should cultivate? My parents. The people who I initially thought made me want to give up were the ones who were there to pick me up and support me even though I didn't want to go on. They knew I still had it in me, and I'm thankful that they were there to see the fire in me when I couldn't.
Being an adult in college now, I find it nice to have some grown-up conversations with my parents. It has been so meaningful to just be able to sit down with them and reminisce about our journey to this point. We talked about the good times and the hard times and looking back, I remember that at every one of those hard moments, they always ended with the question, "So do you understand why we're mad at you?". This simple question was the key differentiates my childhood from a negative one to one that was the reason behind the strong character, morals, and values I have today. The reasons my parents were mad were never because of performance. It was because of bigger things, like attitude or times where I forgot about my purpose and my "Why". These hard moments ended in lasting life lessons and with a hug from my mom and my dad at the end of it, our love and relationship for each other became that much stronger.
Being older and wiser, I have learned that as much as it was hard for me to go through all of these challenging experiences at such a young age, it was even harder for my parents. No parent wants to be hard on their child. When a parent sees their child cry, all they want to do is comfort them. But, I wouldn't be as strong, mentally tough, and mature today if they had not sacrificed so much to give me that tough love. The more I have emerged into the real world the more thankful I am to my parents for all they did for me and still do for me to this day.
If you ever feel like your parents are being "unfair," they truly do know what is best for you. Everything they do for you has a reason and even though you might not realize it, they are there to support you through thick and thin. So, to my parents, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you both!
