I get stressed.
I get stressed over everything..
I get stressed over making mistakes. I get stressed over mistakes made by other people. I get stressed about certain noises. I get stressed about picture frames that aren’t hung up straight. I get stressed about the way my nose is shaped and the texture of my hair. I get stressed about being talked down to. I get stressed about the way my curtains are arranged. I get stressed for being called a role model, then wondering if those looking up to me chose a good example.
Really, these things are all so fickle. Of course, I have many (many) more legitimate stresses, like my grades and money. Of course, even those things can be fickle at times.
I question why people, including me, get so worked up about an absurd number of irrelevant situations. Things that are so irrelevant, you probably won’t even remember it in a week. It’s very strange that thinking about something enough will get you to feel so bad that you are focused on nothing else except the big stressor. You become so oblivious to everything else, it’s like going blind without being blind. Even a small situation, like messing up an order at a restaurant, can be traumatizing. It’s certainly not intense most of the time, but my mind can’t help but freak out and replay the moment.
Often, you don’t realize how negative and pessimistic you are until someone addresses it. Whenever it happens, it can be a reflection on your output of stress. Thoughts like, “do I really seem negative? Is it the way I just cope with life? Am I just constantly stressed out and forcing that on my attitude?” go racing around in your head. Maybe negativity stems from the fear of rejection or lack of hopefulness. Those things are clearly very stressful.
It’s strange to think about how you become calm later on. There are lots of ways to stay calm, thankfully. Isn’t it weird that plopping down on a couch and staring at book or TV can save someone’s day from being ruined? Stress can be so complicated, yet calmness can be so simple. Personally, being calm to me is similar to being distracted. Except for the fact that this type of distraction is actually quite good. Even though some distractions don’t last for very long, those moments of brief thoughtlessness become treasures to people who are just carrying too much of a burden.
Then maybe you begin to think about the meaning of catharsis, and how beautiful it is to release your stress and anger. Then maybe you laugh at the fact that you can get too deep into things, and you realize talk like this belongs in some random philosophy class where the professor eats it up with a grin then also thinks about his own stress while his smile fades away.
