In eleven days I will be moving into my dorm for the first time. This time of my life is supposed to be the best, but all I have been feeling is stress. It has come to the point where I have no idea how I'm going to survive. Living without the safety blanket of my parents seems impossible. Who is going to tell me I'll make something out of nothing, or who is going to remind me that I can make it through? I guess that is going to have to be me..
From a young age I have been told I'm very mature, and that I grew up quickly. But, I think I'm going to have to grow up some more. I've always been able to get my self to school, but I've never not had someone there to help me when school feels too hard. I've always had someone to lean on right at my fingertips. Now I'm don't. I'll have my friends, but nothing feels the same as a parent's guidance and advice. I'm just going to have to put my big girl pants on and be an adult. Yet, that idea brings me constant stress.
I'm the type of person who is usually stressed out, but I usually strive under pressure. For some reason, this time feels different. I understand I'm going to be on my own in college, but I feel nothing but anxiety about it. Everyone reassures me this is normal, but my stress comes back day after day. And it comes in waves. One day I'll feel fine, and then the next I feel so underwater that I'm drowning. I'm just suppose to enjoy these next four years, not all the stress I currently feel.
The funny thing is, I'm probably more prepared for college than I think I am. I have an awesome support group of friends that will literally be down the hall. Everytime we talk it makes me super excited to finally be on campus. We are all in the same boat, when it comes to having to be independent adults. I've never really lived on my own, but I know they can help me get through it. Also, the upperclassmen are helping to squash my stress. It helps so much to receive sincere advice from people who have been in my position.
Not only is everyone on campus helping me, but my amazing family is playing a big part in keeping my sanity. I know I stress about them not physically being there, but I know they will always be there for me. They support me in anything I do, and they help support me when I feel down. A big shout has to go to my mom who had sat through plenty of meltdowns. Luckily she'll be a call away or even a 40 minute drive away. And I know if I need a break from campus, my Dad will always open the door to me.
I might feel like my head is going to explode from stress, but I know when the shock goes away I will be perfectly okay
