Stop Trying To 'Not Care' About Them Because Your Heart Is Too Big For That To Work Anyway, Try This Instead
Start writing a post

Stop Trying To 'Not Care' About Them Because Your Heart Is Too Big For That To Work Anyway, Try This Instead

If you've clicked on this article you are probably someone who struggles with hardening your heart, and I'm about to blow your mind. You should also realize that your immense capacity to love someone even after they've hurt you is something you should embrace. I know it sounds unorthodox, but bear with me.

Stop Trying To 'Not Care' About Them Because Your Heart Is Too Big For That To Work Anyway, Try This Instead

Everyone is different, and what I'm about to share with you might not work for everyone, but if it works for a few it will be worth it. My take is that you shouldn't even attempt to stop caring, because it's simply against your nature. It isn't going to work and it might even make you feel worse inside. You should also realize that your immense capacity to love someone even after they've hurt you is something you should embrace. I know it sounds unorthodox, but bear with me.

Something we try to do as humans is avoid cognitive dissonance. We want things to be black and white so that we can easily understand the world. However, some of us aren't able to see the world in black and white. We know that the varying grays exist, and we can't unsee that.

Forgive yourself for not being able to forget what you liked about a person, while you also make a conscious effort to remember why things ended. You are allowed to both hate and love a person at the same time. You are allowed to have days that you reminisce and want them back tremendously. You are also allowed to have days that you are glad they are no longer in your life. Accept that these two dimensions of hating and loving a person can exist within you simultaneously.

Maybe you can resonate with the feeling of frustration that comes when you can't stop caring about people you know couldn't care less about you. I think if I had a dollar for every time that happened I'd be rich. What I realized over time is that caring more about others is nothing but a reflection of how boundless the love in my heart is. I don't believe in the "caring less" competition. To be honest, it's a ridiculous notion that caring less about someone somehow makes you the winner of life. It has nothing to do with the quality of you as a person that they don't care about you anymore. We can also care about people while acknowledging that they really aren't that great... we're just the type of people who happen to make deep connections regardless.

Caring more about someone has no impact on the value of a person. Let yourself care, and know that it can happen even when you've let them go. It isn't an indicator that you haven't progressed or moved on. Just because you still care doesn't mean you ever have to talk to them again. It certainly doesn't mean you should go back to them and try to make them care back. They won't, and that's their loss. Also, their lack of care towards you may help you move on, but it still doesn't change that fact they are them and you are you. They are built colder than you are, and you shouldn't try to be like them. You are perfect the way you are, even if you care too much for other people to understand. I feel a little bad for the people whose hearts are not as capable of love and caring as mine is. They are just so oblivious to all of the vibrancy they are missing out on. Imagine how dull and unimportant life would be if you were that devoid of emotion.

One day they will be a distant memory, but sometimes the heart just doesn't forget no matter how much you try. The bottom line is that you should accept and forgive yourself for all of the feelings you have within you that come and go. Although those old memories will remain everlasting in your heart, you will recognize that you still have plenty of room for vibrant, new, and beautiful memories to form. Preferably with people who don't make you feel like having a big heart is something you have to feel afraid of showing.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

150 Words For Anyone Who Loves Football Games

Why I love high school football games, even though I don't like football.

Dallas News

When most think of high school they think of friend drama, parties, getting your drivers license, and best of all foot ball games.

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Greatest Speeches In Modern American History

The United States is a relatively infantile nation, but its legacy of spoken rhetoric is one of the richest in the world.


Rhetoric, in all its forms, arrives under the scrutiny of historians both for its historical impact and literary value. Dozens of speeches have either rallied the nation together or driven it drastically apart –– the impact of speeches in politics, social movements, and wars is undeniable.

Keep Reading... Show less

What If The U.N. Actually United The Nations?

This is me taking a break from being cynical and imagining how the world could be one day.


By now, people are probably sick of hearing me talk about myself, so I’m changing it up this week. In keeping with the subject of my J-Term class, I’m asking myself a political what-if question. What if we could create a sovereign global government firmly grounded in justice that could actually adjudicate Earth’s many disparate nation-states into one unified world government?

Keep Reading... Show less

100 Things I'd Rather Do Than Study

Procrastination Nation, unite.

Panda Whale
Here are 100 things I'd rather to than study. I know the semester just started, but

    1. Watch a movie
    2. Take a nap
    3. Have a dance party
    4. Eat ice cream
    5. Bake a cake
    6. Cry just a little bit
    7. Knit a blanket
    8. Learn to ride a bike
    9. Build a crib
    10. Watch a hockey game
    11. Watch any game
    12. Play with my hair
    13. Dye my hair
    14. Go grocery shopping
    15. Learn to crochet
    16. Do 50 jumping jacks
    17. Drive cross country
    18. Take a bubble bath
    19. Squeeze lemons for lemonade
    20. Sell the lemonade
    21. Make heart-shaped ice cubes
    22. Moisturize my knees
    23. Paint my nails
    24. Find the cure for cancer
    25. Run a marathon
    26. Just kidding, run down the hall
    27. Squat my bodyweight
    28. Eat my bodyweight in French fries
    29. Hibernate until Christmas
    30. Cuddle my body pillow (unless you have a boo)
    31. Think about all the work I’m not doing
    32. Wash my bed sheets
    33. Vacuum my apartment
    34. Play mini golf
    35. Go swimming
    36. Tan in this Texas heat
    37. Sing like I’m about to win American Idol
    38. Blow up balloons
    39. Pop the balloons
    40. Make lists
    41. Write an Odyssey article
    42. Pet a puppy
    43. Adopt a puppy
    44. Pay my rent
    45. Order a pizza
    46. Start a garden
    47. Cook a turkey
    48. Find new music
    49. Clean my waffle iron
    50. Learn to make jam
    51. Jam to music
    52. Play scrabble
    53. Volunteer anywhere
    54. Celebrate a birthday
    55. Watch a makeup tutorial I’ll never use
    56. Go through old pictures on my phone
    57. Make a playlist
    58. Take a shower
    59. Clean my room
    60. Curl my hair
    61. Climb a rock wall
    62. Get a massage
    63. Play with Snapchat filters
    64. Roast a chicken
    65. Go fishing
    66. Chug some Snapple
    67. Ride in a cart around Walmart
    68. Count the days until the semester is over
    69. Overthink about my future
    70. Think of my future baby’s names
    71. Pin everything on Pinterest
    72. Text anybody
    73. Pray about life
    74. Watch a sunset
    75. Watch a sunrise
    76. Have a picnic
    77. Read a book (that’s not for school)
    78. Go to a bakery
    79. Snuggle a bunny
    80. Clean my apartment
    81. Wash my dishes
    82. Rearrange my furniture
    83. Physically run away from my problems
    84. Make some meatballs
    85. Learn to make bread
    86. Google myself
    87. Ride a Ferris wheel
    88. Get stuck on a Ferris wheel (that way, it’s not my fault I’m not studying)
    89. Wash my car
    90. Get on a plane to Neverland
    91. Find Narnia in my closet
    92. Jump on a trampoline
    93. Learn to ice skate
    94. Go rollerblading
    95. Ride a rollercoaster
    96. Carve a pumpkin
    97. Restore water in a third world country
    98. FaceTime my family
    99. Hug my mom
    100. Tell my friends I love them

    The Basics Of The United Nations

    As the General Assembly convenes, here is the United Nations 101


    For an organization that literally unites the nations, it amazes me how little is taught about the United Nations in schools, or at least where I went to school. It wasn't until I went to college and got a higher education that I learned the basics of the United Nations. I believe that every American should know at least the basics of what the United Nations does, especially since our country is one of the 5 permanent members. So here are the main "organs" of the United Nations.

    Keep Reading... Show less

    Subscribe to Our Newsletter

    Facebook Comments