I’ve noticed that talking bad about, and shaming others, seems to come up very often in conversation with those around me. It is often an easy way for friends to relate to each other and share opinions, yet it seems to be running rampant on a larger scale, with more judgement and alienation being forced onto not just people we don’t like, but even close friends. One particular form I notice this in is by slut-shaming.
Even with the third wave feminist movement at its peak, people still seem to be stuck in an antiquated mindset that sees putting others down as acceptable. If your friend or acquaintance does something that doesn’t affect you personally in any way, then you don’t have a right to judge. Unless you have a clean slate and have never been chastised by someone else, which no none has, then you are being hypocritical. This, surprisingly, seems to be most common amongst girls. Why are we tearing each other down when we should be building each other up? Does making others feel bad make you feel better about yourself?
Not to mention, if you are judging someone, most likely you don’t have the full story. You may hear rumors or see things and come to your own conclusions, but the truth is, unless you talk to the person directly, you do not know the truth. Assuming the worst of someone without knowing their side makes you look ignorant and foolish. How would you like it if the tables were turned on you? Of course, this also relates to the other side of the spectrum.
If you’re not being slut shamed, chances are you’ve gotten underhanded comments about being less experienced than other girls. You try to join the oh-so-popular conversations about hookups and flings but are often iced out because, unlike them, you just “don’t understand.” Since when does not having a significant other mean you aren’t worth have conversations with? There is more to life than relationships or drunken party hookup stories.
Everyone is dealing with their own unique issues and are shaped as a result of those issues. It is better to be kind and understanding, the way you would want to be treated in return, rather than being mean and making it more difficult for someone who needs your opinion as much as they need a second head. Let’s look out for each other ladies, and we’ll all be stronger for it.
