Girls are taught to not have sex until marriage. Personally, I’ve heard it a million times. Most recently was “My husband wouldn’t have married me if I wasn’t a virgin.” Honestly, I wanted to reply with “Your husband is an a$$hole.”

Because what is virginity anyway? And why is it only applied to women and not men? I believe virginity is a social construct. And no, I’m not saying this because I’ve had sex with multiple men. In fact, I haven’t been with anyone at all. But just because I haven’t experienced it, it does not mean I have the right to judge someone for deciding to sleep with someone.

Sex occurs for lots of reasons. They could have been in love or they could have just wanted to experience it. Whatever reason they had is valid and should not be minimized. So why do we always label women as “sluts” or “hoes” when they decide to participate in something that takes two to do.

If you want to go and sleep with multiple people, or just one person, you do you, boo. Just please use the right protection to prevent an unwanted pregnancy or STD. Also, go to your yearly checkups! I bet you want to keep enjoying something without fear. However, if you don’t want to have sex, then don’t. There’s a reason why you’re waiting, perhaps you want it to be with someone you love, or you actually want to wait until marriage, or you’re just not ready to experience it yet. Those are valid reasons as well.

Just don’t have sex just because you’re the only one who hasn’t experienced it. When the time comes, you’ll feel comfortable. That’s the goal, whether or not you’re sexually active should be nobody’s business. It should stay between the two people. At the end of the day, you’re the one that should be comfortable.

Despite people telling you to wait until marriage, choose to be sexually active when you feel ready. And if you’re worried about what people will say, remember this: your worth isn’t defined by your body count. And when you finally find the person you’re going to marry, they won’t care whether or not you’re a “virgin.” But if they do, they’re not the right person to marry, so I suggest you leave them. No one should make you feel bad for doing something you feel it’s right.