Stop Searching For Validation From Other People
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Stop Searching For Validation From Other People

Learn to support yourself.

476
Stop Searching For Validation From Other People
Nine Köpfer

Our whole lives we are taught to look for validation, whether it's from a teacher, a parent, a coach, or even a friend. We were raised to not feel good about ourselves unless someone else justifies it. I am sick of it. I shouldn't need validation to be happy about myself, and you shouldn't either.

How do you change your mindset away from looking for validation in others? I will admit, I am not completely sure of the answer. However, I do know the first step is acknowledging that it is happening.

The main way people search for validation is through social media. Now don't get me wrong, I love social media, but with the right mindset. It shouldn't be about how many likes and comments you get on your #selfie, it should be about sharing what makes you happy. Sure, we all want to look good to others it is human nature, but at the end of the day getting 200+ likes on a photo will not make you any more pretty.

With this, we also need to stop judging people for petty things like how many followers they have. Stop supporting this superficial world! Get to know someone, ignore how many likes they get and focus on what they believe in and what their morals are. Think of it like this: I would rather be friends with someone who has 10 likes and is a really nice person than someone who is mean and gets 1,000 likes.

We also look for validation from our parents. While it does make sense, I feel like sometimes we are too extreme when searching. Yes, I love my parents and I want them to be proud of me, but I shouldn't try to get good grades just to make them happy. Instead, I should learn to want good grades for myself and my own future. It's simple psychology, intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Are you pushing to do something or is someone else? In order to eventually be a self-sustaining adult, you have to be able to want to do good things for yourself.

Schools can also make us search for validation, especially when applying to colleges. Just because you do not get into a school doesn't mean you're dumb or not worthwhile. It just means your application didn't meet the criteria. You are way more than a piece of paper – you are a powerful individual. I remember when I got waitlisted to my reach school and I was devastated. I thought I was dumb and that all of high school was a waste of time. Oh, how I was wrong. I just didn't get in, not everyone gets into every school and that's okay. At the end of the day, I am still getting a college education at a school I love.

Last and probably most important, stop comparing yourself to others for validation. Every person is unique in their own way. Them being gorgeous will not take away from your beauty, and being near someone ugly doesn't make you cuter. Beauty should not be viewed as relative, but something from the inside.

But if you don't find validation in others where do you? Yourself! Set goals and work hard to better yourself. I find the most successful people do it for their own future rather than for anyone or anything else.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Alexis Hoffman

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we all know that cutting out social interaction has taken its toll.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Asked Instagram How 2020 Was, And Maybe It Wasn't The Worst Year Ever

2020 is a year to remember but it's not as bad as we made it out to be.

30197

It's finally 2021 and we're honestly all just happy that 2020 is over. I decided to ask my Instagram followers how they felt about 2020 and the results were a little more mixed up than expected.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ever since I watched "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days," I've been a major Matthew McConaughey fan. I've seen most of his movies, and I definitely got way too excited when he finally made an Instagram! So when he announced he would be releasing a memoir titled "Greenlights," I knew I absolutely had to get my hands on this book. And so did the rest of the world, as the book began to flood social media.

Truthfully, I would much rather read a fiction book and dive into another world than read a nonfiction book - even if it is one of my favorite celebrities. But I had a feeling this book wouldn't disappoint or bore.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

The Armie Hammer Scandal Discourse Is Kink Shaming And Harming Actual Victims

The rumors surrounding Armie Hammer has resulted in some very toxic and harmful discourse.

9015

Sex is something that occupies a very significant place in our lives. Even asexual people can have an active sex life. With the various types of people that comprise this world, it obviously results in various sexual interests. And unconventional people can engage in some pretty unconventional sex practices. Even the most conventional people on the surface might surprise us with their sexual fantasies.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

The Top 10 'Sex and the City' Episodes You Need To Revisit Before The New Series

In anticipation for the upcoming series, "And Just Like That," here are the ten "Sex and the City" episodes you need to revisit.

6057
HBO

"Sex and the City" has become quite the franchise since its premiere in the late nineties. The series lasted six seasons and even produced two films. Fans of the show were anxiously awaiting a revival, even if their hopes seemed futile. Kim Cattrall, who plays Samantha Jones, recently spoke out saying she would not return to the show. Cattrall explained that she was never friends with her co-stars and even had a difficult relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker.

In the wake of Cattrall's revelation, rumors swirled the series would come back without her. On January 10, a new teaser was posted on social media for the new series, "And Just Like That." Now that a revival is officially confirmed, here are the ten "Sex and the City" episodes you need to revisit.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

My New Tattoo Reminds Me To Love Everyone With Intention—And Yes, That Includes Myself

I've realized that love has almost nothing to do with agreeing and almost everything to do with grace.

12819
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

I'm a big believer that everyone has a story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lum3n

Women are known to lug around heavy purses with unnecessary items inside. How many of these useful items do you keep in your own bag? We need to be prepared with a list of things to have with us whenever we leave the house again.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments