As an English major, you become nearly immune to the questions and statements everyone sends your way when they find out your field of study. The immunity lasts until someone asks you one of those dreaded questions on a day when you haven't had your coffee and you forgot your favorite pen in your dorm. Something inside you snaps and you lose it on the innocent, yet slightly uneducated, quester. If you're an English major and you're reading this, then you probably know and have heard, everything I'm about to list off. If you're not an English major then you're probably the reason I'm writing this.
1. Are you going to be a teacher?
GiphyNo, I am not going to be a teacher. There are so many other things to do with an English degree that it's almost insulting that you would assume I am going to be a teacher. Now, it is not to say it is shameful to become an English teacher, without them I would not be where I am in my love for literature, however not every English major is going to be a teacher. The two are not synonymous with each other. So next time you run into an English major, instead of saying "Oh, are you going to be a teacher?" try "What are your goals?" or "How interesting, what kind of jobs are you looking at?"
2. What are you going to do with that?
This question is worse than the teacher question simply because the teacher questions at least implies we have the bountiful knowledge, common sense, job opportunities, and the ability to deal with children. The "that" question, as I like to call it, basically tries to erase everything an English major is. The scrutinizer first has this tone of voice that is filled with the utmost disgust. They imply that someone majoring in the field of English has no path in life. They probably assume the English major is well off with money and some "special" art kid who has no brain for such behemoth tasks such as adding numbers. They also act as if that because the English major is not like them, they will eventually fail and end up working in a bookstore for the rest of their life.
3. That sounds boring.
GiphyThis is the most insulting thing I have ever heard in my life. If you're speaking with someone that is talking about their English major and their goals, do not insult them by saying it sounds boring. We get it, every single one of us gets it: you don't like reading and you sucked horribly in English class in high school because you hate reading and don't understand a word Shakespeare says. We know, and we know this because you're not sitting in our English classes with us. We're in our required science class Jeremy, okay, I know you don't like to read. However, at the end of the day, if we're having fun reading Shakespeare and Jane Austen, let us have our fun and don't patronize us with your pitying looks and stories about your mean, high school English teacher. You can't say anything in place of this because even if you say "That's interesting." it comes out condescending and we know you don't mean it. So if you think it's boring, keep it to yourself.
4. Why are you stressed? English is an easy major.
https://giphy.com/gifs/114RdYSvd1GuvCNo. English is not an easy major. It may seem like it because, yes, we read a lot. However, contrary to popular belief, we're not just reading. We're reading something that probably dates back to before the modern English tongue, therefore the text, in and of itself, is a challenge. If the text is in modern English then there are at least twenty underlying meanings to everything that happened. We're also analyzing everything the characters do and the writing style of the author. We're analyzing why the author wrote something in a certain metaphor and what that metaphor represents. Then, after all this reading and analyzing we get to compile all of our thoughts into a paper with references to the text and quotes from the text. It sounds easy to may people, but remember that you sucked in high school English. It is so much harder than it looks.
English majors are hardworking, passionate, and knowledgeable humans. Not all of us are overjoyed when we're reading literature from the 1500's. Not all of us are going to be teachers and not all of us are art kids. We all have passions for something that leads us to the English major and we're all very proud of the work we put in to obtain our degree. We all would appreciate it if everyone elsetook a second to know our intentions and respect our decisions.
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