Women Need to Stop Saying Sorry

Ladies, Stop Saying Sorry

It's about time we stop apologizing for being human beings.

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Recently, I've been confronted with the overwhelming amount of times that I say "sorry" on a daily basis, often when there's nothing that I should be apologizing for. If someone expresses to me that they're sick, my initial response is "Aw man, I'm so sorry," rather than "I hope you feel better." I've begun to call this the "sorry reflex," as it sometimes so visceral that I don't even notice it happening. My sorry reflex has gotten to the point where if I accidentally bump into an inanimate object, like a chair, I immediately say "I'm sorry."

I've begun to notice times when the other women in my life do this as well. Last week, when I complained to my roommate about having lost my umbrella in the midst of an especially rainy week, she sympathized by saying "I'm sorry about that." Now, this garnered an immediate reaction from me, one of which felt most closely like guilt. I felt guilty for making a friend feel at fault for something that I had done. Very quickly, I replied, "It's not your fault." Now, I'm very sure that my roommate was consciously aware she was not the one who had lost my umbrella, but in using the word "sorry," she unintentionally admitted guilt.

This conversation got me thinking about how women are conditioned to be apologetic. While boys receive applause for being overtly confident and assertive, girls are told that timidity and inferiority best suit their character. We girls are trained that to empathize; we must first sympathize. This is to say that in identifying with the upsetting experiences of others, like losing an umbrella, we must also be responsible for the things that cause them grief. Why should anyone feel sorry that I lost my umbrella? The answer is – they shouldn't.

The word "sorry" can be said so much that it loses it genuine remorse and becomes more of an instinctual response, even when no guilt is actually felt. After telling my roommate that losing my umbrella wasn't her fault, she expressed to me that she knew that fact but regarded the comfort and ease of expressing the word "sorry" to empathize. Our conversation about my umbrella made us think about alternative phrases to saying sorry, such as "I hope things turn up for you" or "That's unfortunate." These sentences realistically convey our point – that we understand the crappy outcome and hope things get better – all without admitting guilt. It's fair to say that eliminating "sorry" from your toolbelt of responses is far more tedious and inconvenient than the resulting phrases, but it will change the way your responses are perceived by others, for the better. And that's something you don't need to apologize about, ever.

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A list Of 15 Inspiring Words That Mean So Much

A single word can mean a lot.
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Positivity is so important in life. A lot of times we always go to quotes for empowerment but I have realized that just one word can be just as powerful. Here is a list of inspiring words.

1. Worthy

Realizing your self-worth is important. Self-worth can really make or break a persons personality. Always know that you are worthy of respect. And also, never compare yourself to others.

2. Courage

Be courageous in life. Life has so many opportunities so do not be scared to grasp any opportunity that comes your way. You have the ability to do anything you have your heart and mind set to do, even the things that frighten you.

3. Enough

When you are feeling down and feeling that nothing you do is ever good enough, know that you are more than enough. And yes there is always room for improvement but when it comes to my self-worth I always have to remind myself that I am enough.

4. Blessed

Be thankful. A lot of times we forget how blessed we are. We focus so much on stress and the bad things that are going on in our lives that we tend to forget all of the beautiful things we have in life.

5. Focus

Focus on your goals, focus on positive things, and focus on the ones you love. Do not focus on things that will keep you from not reaching your goals and people that do not have good intentions for your life.

6. Laugh

Laughing is one of the best forms of medicine. Life is truly better with laughter.

7. Warrior

Through the good and the bad you are a warrior. Be strong, soldier.

8. Seek

Seek new things. Allow yourself to grow in life. Do not just be stuck.

9. Faith

During the bad times, no matter the circumstances, have faith that everything will be all right.

10. Live

Start living because life is honestly way too short. Live life the way you want to live. Do not let anyone try to control you.

11. Enjoy

Enjoy everything that life has to offer. Enjoy even the littlest of things because, as I said before, life is short. And plus, there is no time to live life with regrets.

12. Believe

Believe in yourself and never stop. Believing in yourself brings so many blessings and opportunities in your life.

13. Serendipity

A lot of times we look for things to fill an empty void that we have. Usually what we are looking for comes when we are not looking at all. Your serendipity will come.

14. Create

Share your ideas with the world. Creativity brings change to your life. However you chose to use your creativity do not be scared to show your intelligence, talent, and passion.

15. Love

The world is already full of so much hate, so love unconditionally with all your heart.

Cover Image Credit: Tanveer Naseer

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Part 1: Necessary Changes

One of my favorite movies is "Fried Green Tomatoes" with Kathy Bates. In the movie Bates' character Evelyn Couch says, "Someone helped put a mirror up in front of my face, and I didn't like what I saw one bit. And you know what I did? I changed." I know the feeling.

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I looked in the mirror over the weekend and didn't like what I saw.

The person I saw looking back at me is petty, selfish, manipulative, and unattractive. It wasn't that I hated what I saw, but I definitely didn't like what I saw either. It's a surreal feeling, looking at yourself through a critical lens, and it doesn't make you feel good in any way shape or form.

The image that I see of myself is not how I want others to perceive me. I want to be someone that people look at and see kindness, compassion, strength, and confidence.

I have enough general life experience to know that these types of changes aren't going to happen overnight, and not all of them will be physical; most of these will have to happen from the inside, from within myself.

When you find out you are all broken and damaged, it's hard to know where to start putting the pieces back together. I figured the best place to start would be the most literal: my actual insides; so, I decided to embark on a deep-cleansing journey to get all of the toxins out of my body, from the inside out.

I found this book on 10-day green smoothie detox stashed away in the dark corner of my bookshelf. The science behind it seems accurate and legitimate. By eliminating certain foods, your body is able to detox itself off of chemicals and foods that are slowing down your metabolism; the smoothies are specifically designed with combinations of foods that help restart your metabolism. Part of the detox process is getting rid of all dependencies on caffeine, alcohol, and sugar.

Every day you are given the recipe for a specific smoothie; you make the smoothie (about 40 ounces) and sip on it throughout the day whenever you get hungry. Every smoothie is a combination of leafy greens, water, fruit, and flax seeds. If you do happen to get hungry throughout the day, you are encouraged to eat raw nuts, hard boiled eggs, and a wide variety of crunchy green vegetables. There is also a detox tea that you have first thing in the morning, but other than that no other beverages are allowed except water.

I know that this is only the beginning of a very long, emotional, and draining journey. But I think I'm at the point in my life where I have to make these changes. I have to put my pieces together, I have to become a normal functioning adult, I have to find out who I am. I think that this is the perfect way to start.

For the next 10 days I am going to be documenting my experiences, how I'm feeling, what my emotions are doing, and any results that I see.

Stay tuned!

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