Women Need to Stop Saying Sorry
Start writing a post
Wellbeing

Ladies, Stop Saying Sorry

It's about time we stop apologizing for being human beings.

280
https://stocksnap.io/photo/NBIKGCFO08
https://stocksnap.io/photo/NBIKGCFO08

Recently, I've been confronted with the overwhelming amount of times that I say "sorry" on a daily basis, often when there's nothing that I should be apologizing for. If someone expresses to me that they're sick, my initial response is "Aw man, I'm so sorry," rather than "I hope you feel better." I've begun to call this the "sorry reflex," as it sometimes so visceral that I don't even notice it happening. My sorry reflex has gotten to the point where if I accidentally bump into an inanimate object, like a chair, I immediately say "I'm sorry."

I've begun to notice times when the other women in my life do this as well. Last week, when I complained to my roommate about having lost my umbrella in the midst of an especially rainy week, she sympathized by saying "I'm sorry about that." Now, this garnered an immediate reaction from me, one of which felt most closely like guilt. I felt guilty for making a friend feel at fault for something that I had done. Very quickly, I replied, "It's not your fault." Now, I'm very sure that my roommate was consciously aware she was not the one who had lost my umbrella, but in using the word "sorry," she unintentionally admitted guilt.

This conversation got me thinking about how women are conditioned to be apologetic. While boys receive applause for being overtly confident and assertive, girls are told that timidity and inferiority best suit their character. We girls are trained that to empathize; we must first sympathize. This is to say that in identifying with the upsetting experiences of others, like losing an umbrella, we must also be responsible for the things that cause them grief. Why should anyone feel sorry that I lost my umbrella? The answer is – they shouldn't.

The word "sorry" can be said so much that it loses it genuine remorse and becomes more of an instinctual response, even when no guilt is actually felt. After telling my roommate that losing my umbrella wasn't her fault, she expressed to me that she knew that fact but regarded the comfort and ease of expressing the word "sorry" to empathize. Our conversation about my umbrella made us think about alternative phrases to saying sorry, such as "I hope things turn up for you" or "That's unfortunate." These sentences realistically convey our point – that we understand the crappy outcome and hope things get better – all without admitting guilt. It's fair to say that eliminating "sorry" from your toolbelt of responses is far more tedious and inconvenient than the resulting phrases, but it will change the way your responses are perceived by others, for the better. And that's something you don't need to apologize about, ever.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

43294
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

27227
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

952167
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

144107
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments