"How was your day?"

"Fine"

"Okay, cool"

"Actually..."

"What?"

"I'm not fine. I had a terrible day. I messed up an extremely important midterm, I'm stressed out about my grades and I just had a huge fight with someone I care deeply about."

*silence*

"Well, why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

And that's what got me thinking. Why didn't I just say it in the first place? Society has pressured us to push our emotional and physical boundaries to such an extent that saying "I'm fine" has become almost a reflex action. And even if god forbid, we have reached a breaking point, had a terrible day or need to seek some sort of emotional support, our egos and fears won't allow us to accept this fact and so we say "I'm fine".

Well, this very facet of the world we live in is not "fine". People who are more prone to go through emotionally low phases need to stop being viewed as weak individuals because it is this perception that forces so many of us to put up a facade. We shouldn't need to be hesitant to articulate our feelings, whether they are those of happiness and especially when they are those of distress. We need to stop throwing around phrases like 'it's okay not to be okay' and yet never actually reply 'I'm not okay' to somebody who asks us how we are.

You know what actually is 'fine'? Being disappointed in yourself after you failed at something is fine. Allowing yourself to feel sorrow over a broken friendship is fine. Seeking out professional mental health is fine. Telling your friends about your problems and accepting your vulnerabilities is fine.

In Psychology class the other day, my professor told us about an experiment where a large group of people was shown videos that elicited some sort of emotion. Half of them were told to allow their emotions to flow freely while watching the videos while the other half were asked to retain a stoic expression. The ones who allowed themselves to laugh openly or even cry openly performed substantially better in everyday tasks given to them than those who were made to control their outward emotions. So next time you stop those tears from falling to 'be in control', ask yourself if that's what you are actually doing.

So do me a favor. Next time your best friend or your parent asks how you are, tell them you're exuberant. Tell them you're exhausted. Tell them you're feeling really good about yourself that day. Tell them you're really stressed out. Don't be so ashamed of feeling what the entire world does. And most importantly, next time someone tells you that they are fine, don't just run off to class. Make them stop and actually find out how they are doing. You'd be surprised at how much help it can be to someone who actually isn't just 'fine'.