Scene: College student in the library with three textbooks opened to various chapters, numerous cups of coffee surrounding the student like some kind of offering, the clicks of the computer keyboard filling the air with their noise, with the clock in the background that reads 1:30 a.m.

* * *

Before I entered college, I had thought this was just a fantasy or a fairy tale. I thought scenes like this were something to aspire to: to be burning the midnight oil, grinding it out academically, gaining knowledge, tirelessly working towards a college degree. This was what was taught to me growing up not only by my family but also by the media, my peers, my mentors and general society. It was always, "push yourself to the limit, exhaust yourself, keep going." If you weren't working until you passed out, then you were doing something wrong. I was taught that by sheer willpower alone, I could accomplish anything and take down anything in my way.

And so, when I got into college, I was looking forward to emulating this cool college kid who worked his ass off and reaps the rewards of doing so. I was looking forward to just willing my way to a 4.0 GPA and a degree.

College hit me like a freight train.

No one told me how draining college is — not just mentally but emotionally and physically.

No one told me that, “Willing your way to success” included willing your way past anxiety and depression (which is impossible).

No one told me that in addition to worrying about the tremendous amount of school work you have to deal with, that I was going to be hit with horrific situations from back home which is hundreds of miles away.

No one told me any of this.

No one tells anyone this when they create that view of how it’s “cool” to be a college student. You don’t find out until it hits you.

Unfortunately, it hits some harder than others; it hits them so hard that they get hit off of campus. And instead of trying to figure out why that happened, instead of figuring out why they got hit in the first place, we berate them and demand why they couldn’t take the punch and kept going.

Then, what’s even more sickly about it, we celebrate those who are able to operate under the intense pressures and strain that college life has to offer. WE CELEBRATE THE SUFFERING. We romanticize it, we conveniently leave out all of this and make it into something else. We need to start talking about what college is doing to everyone.

The stress and strain of college shouldn’t be making people crash, crumble or fail because there shouldn’t be this much stress and strain in the first place.

I am not saying that there shouldn’t be hard work, nor toil that should be invested into academic learning. Personally, I enjoy challenging myself academically, socially and culturally by being on a college campus. But what I am saying is that this hard work shouldn’t be a sadistic pleasure or fantasy. This hard work shouldn’t bear such a burden on college students that they have to risk their health emotionally, physically, and mentally. We shouldn’t treat this process as something wonderful or beautiful. What should be done is the creation of dialogue about what’s happening. Instead of romanticizing, let’s get serious about what’s happening.

I am an exhausted college student, and I am tired of the romanticization.