A popular flavor of motivation porn is a success from struggle tale, a rags to riches vignette. We have this idea that struggle and suffering will allow us to metamorphosis into a wiser and stronger version of ourselves. But is believing this romanticized view of struggle really necessary to become our best selves? Challenging oneself and pushing oneself to be better is absolutely necessary and rewarding, but is it necessary to struggle so violently? I believe the answer is no. No one should have to struggle and continuing to romanticize struggle does more harm than good.
In a TED talk by a woman who recovered from an eating disorder, she said she was glad she struggled with anorexia as it made her who she is today. I understand the idea of trying to make meaning from painful struggles but to me, this just seems like a lie. Challenges in life are good, they mold us and allow us to grow. Painful struggle and suffering on the other hand are something no one should have to go through. To be thankful for these things implies that people deserve such pain and there is a reason for said suffering.
For those who believe that suffering is the reason they are who they are today, I argue they have always been who they are and suffering had nothing to do with it. If anything, those who struggle the most are not wiser but more traumatized. For rappers who rap about growing up poor and witnessing unspeakable violence, that is not some testament of toughness. Those kinds of experiences are trauma. For people who have struggled with suicidal thoughts due to mental illness, that will forever be a traumatic experience for them. Yes, getting out of struggle can teach lessons and be a testament of strength. However, one does not have to fall victim to struggle and suffering to learn these lessons and acquire said strength.
This romanticized view of struggle leads us to believe that privilege is a bad thing when it is not. I remember experiencing this while filling out my FAFSA application for financial aid. I found myself silently bitter that I hadn't had more hardships in my life. I felt I had it too easy and I was guilty of the position my family was in. Now, I look at all I have and am grateful for it. I am grateful for my privilege and try to use what I have to help others who are not in the same position. Consequently, my view of my struggles has also changed. I used to use my struggles as a testament of strength. Now, I see them as something that merely happened to me. I am not thankful for them. I recognize how they influenced me but refuse to adhere to the popular metaphor that they were the cocoon that allowed me to emerge into the person I am today.
Struggle and suffering is an inevitable part of life. It is tempting to give it meaning so that going through it at least has a point, but sometimes things don't have a point. Struggling doesn't make someone stronger or wiser or better than anyone else. They simply had more obstacles in their life. Yes, you can learn from these obstacles but one does not have to struggle to learn these lessons. Challenges are necessary but misery and suffering are not.
