I'm almost twenty-one and something I've been able to figure out on my own is that I need to grow some thick skin. People say things all the time that have the power to hurt us and make us feel things that maybe we don't want to feel; stuff that maybe we don't want to talk about or haven't allowed ourselves to think about for a while. I've learned that I need to be able to get over these things and grow from them instead of taking everything so personal and feeling like it's an attack against me.
But I can't help it. I'm a Virgo/Libra and that's what I do. I take everything to heart.
While I'm generally able to develop a thick skin about a lot of things, one thing I'm not able to get over is the way people throw around the phrase "daddy issues". I'll admit, at times, I've thrown around this phrase, too. While you might think it's hypocritical of me, I think I have more of a right to use to the phrase in an I'm-being-funny-but-also-trying-to-protect-myself-way than someone else that has a healthy relationship with their father.
If you don't agree with me on this, that's OK. But let me explain to you why I feel this way.
We all have our issues and our demons. Whether its substance abuse, consciousness, and criticism, or a less-than-perfect relationship with one of our parents, we all develop ways to get over those issues and cope with them in the best way that we know how.
For myself and some of my other friends dealing with this particular demon, humor is often the way to go about the situation. As with a lot of things, it's one of the things where if you don't laugh about it, you'll cry. And while I might be super emotional, I hate crying and I would much rather laugh at a bad situation.
I, along with many others, cope by using humor. But when someone is personally afflicted by a situation and uses humor to cope, don't think that that automatically gives you the right to use humor towards that subject, too. It's not OK to take something that someone uses to shield themselves, and in turn, turn it into a joke, be it of a sexual manner or not.
In some cases, it might be OK for you to use humor towards a situation. My friends know that I don't mind and I laugh when they make daddy issues jokes, but if you think you're going to say something that could possibly hurt someone but you're not fully sure, it's best to play it safe and just stay away from that type of humor because some people will be more sensitive towards it than others.
I've noticed over the last few years that the phrase "daddy-issues" has been coined and produced in a new light. There are countless songs about having "daddy-issues" that make the girl sound like she's weak and needs someone to depend on. I don't know if you personally know someone that is affected in this way, but I've found that gals with what you call "daddy-issues", are some of the strongest and most bad-ass women out there.
For example, I love both of these songs, so don't come at me saying that I don't understand what they're trying to convey, because trust me, I do. As a self-professed music connoisseur and a mad fan of these artists, because I can connect with them on such an emotional level, I understand what they're trying to do.
I love this song, truly. It is such a bop. BUT. Why do we have to give this issue even more credit? Demi is at liberty to talk about her daddy-issues however she wants (and wow, this really is such a good song) but I hate that there even has to be a song about this. Because the scenario shouldn't even be a thing.
I love this song even more than the previous. But once again, I wish this situation didn't even have to exist and there didn't have to be songs about it.
My final request is: can we please stop sexualizing and popularizing the idea of having "daddy issues"? I know quite a few people that I know would back me up in my saying that being in this situation isn't sexy and it doesn't feel good.
On behalf of all of the gals and guys that are damaged and in this situation, I think it would be greatly appreciated if we could look at it for what it is instead of sexualizing it for social media and the internet.