One-in-six. Here, let me repeat that: one-in-six. That statistic could apply to literally anything. The number of people who like a particular color; the number of people who prefer a certain clothing brand; the number of people who have experienced a certain injury. But in this case, one-in-six refers to the number of people in the US who have HSV-2, also known as genital herpes.
HSV-1 is the more common form of Herpes — that's the type we all know as a cold sore. And of course, when someone had a cold sore in college, or even high school people would make the joke: “uh oh, you have Herpes!” But, that isn’t actually a joke. Yes, a cold sore is a form of Herpes. And yes, it is far more common than people are comfortable with. But the part of this equation that people forget about: IT IS NOT A JOKE.
An individual’s personal and physical health is not a joke. By making jokes about Herpes, people are silencing individuals’ abilities to talk about their experience. Why are we so disgusted by something that is so common? Recently, I met someone with Herpes, and they told me how uncomfortable jokes and comments made them. She told me she felt as though people automatically knew her story; as though her private life solely served as a means for public ridicule. But the truth was no one knew she had Herpes. Regardless, those seemingly innocent jokes hurt her more than she cared to admit. She wondered what they would think of her if they knew? She sat there, listening to those jokes wondering, was she really that repulsive?
With every comment or joke, we are hurting someone. Think about it: when you’re at a party or any public setting, and you make some slight joke about Herpes, odds are there is someone present who has some form of Herpes. The tricky part is, however, not everyone who has it, knows that they have it. So, someone who unknowingly has Herpes, could be making jokes about it, while someone who knowingly has Herpes sits there feeling targeted.
Just like all other stigmas, the Herpes stigma is very much unfounded. No one deserves Herpes. And more than that, everyone has a different story about how they get it. Some people get Herpes when a family member or friend gives them a kiss. Or, some people are born with it. The part that throws people off is that people do not always get Herpes from sex. . For some reason, because Herpes is a sexually transmitted disease, people assume anyone who has it is dirty. BUT THAT IS EXTREMELY FALSE. No one asks for Herpes (or any other STD for that matter). And regardless of how an individuals get Herpes, they are not dirty for having it.
Education is key. Whether you yourself have it, you’re involved with an individual who has it, or you simply want to learn about it more, educating yourself is extremely important. And, when I say education, I do not mean looking at Gossip columns or talking to other people who have no understanding of it. Talk to people who are already educated about Herpes, and truly take the time to understand it. One of the main reasons why people make jokes about Herpes is because people do not understand it. In this case, ignorance is not bliss.
Off of that, when someone tells you they have Herpes, take the time to listen to them. Do not jump to conclusions. Instead, ask the right questions. More importantly, when someone with Herpes tells you about their personal health, understand that they are trusting you with this information. So do not insult them with insensitive comments. Also, know that in trusting you, they are hoping you will respect them and not treat them any differently.
People with Herpes can have a normal romantic and sexual life just like anyone else; they just have to take certain precautions. For some, it’s not the physical discomfort caused from genital herpes that causes the most pain; rather, it’s the fear of telling people, and the jokes and reactions that cause the most pain. That should not be the case. Someone with Herpes should not have to live in fear and embarrassment for something they did not ask for. We as a society have to become more aware of our words and how we speak around others.
So, I will say this: Next time you’re in a room with people, keep in mind that statistic I started this article with: one-in-six. And with that, remember that anything you say can have an impact on someone; both positively and negatively. So, try making your words have a more positive impact, and keep showing people your love.