I think we all do it... try to sabotage good things in our lives. Something seems so perfect and wonderful so we try to tear it down. I’m guilty of this, especially with people. When I start to feel something for someone I have an initial spark of excitement. That excitement is quickly overshadowed by fear. Fear of heartache, rejection and all the terrible feelings that come along with caring for another human being.
So at the beginning of any relationship, I pick out a person’s flaws. I look for signs and reasons to walk away. I weigh every negative possibility in the hopes that I’ll find one strong enough to let me walk away. I don’t want to leave necessarily but the option of leaving seems so much less painful than the idea of being left.
All of this is essentially the idea of whether the good is worth the bad. It has to be... otherwise, why would we put ourselves through it? It’s kind of like pregnancy. Nine months of agony and however many hours of intense labor but most women end up doing it again because the bad was worth the toothless smiles and the beautiful little baby sitting in that high chair. They say that there’s some hormone that’s released during labor. It’s supposed to make a woman forget how painful labor was in order to ensure she’ll continue to reproduce. Maybe there is something similar to be said about falling in love.
Despite the agonizing pain of a heartache, most people let themselves fall in love again. No one can forget the nights the spent locked in their bedroom. Your stomach felt like it was tying itself in knots until there was no empty space. The feeling of wanting to throw up just from opening your mouth. Your eyes burn like you’ve had acid poured in them and your head throbs from hours of crying. No one forgets all of these miserable side effects of heartache but yet we do it all over again months or years later.
Love is a drug. There are countless studies that show love is just as addictive as drugs like cocaine specifically. Getting your heart broken is really bad for you physically and mentally. The amount of stress you endure is physically harming to your body.
Anyone who has been dumped or lost someone they love knows the pain that I’m talking about. Everyone wants to avoid it at any and all costs. But stop looking for ways to get out before the heartache. Stop making the assumption that loving someone has to end with you getting your heart ripped out.
All of the little things that you nit pick and force yourself to be bothered by, they probably won't change anything. You’ll probably still fall for that person and it makes sense because you know your cons list is ridiculous. Let yourself fall in love. Stop looking for a reason to leave. Heartbreak sucks, it’s the worst feeling in the world. Love is worth risking that. Let yourself have this, risk it.
Who knows, maybe you won't get your heart broken this time.
