Perhaps one of the most overlooked social faux pas we frequently make are impulsively telling others what they should and should not do/think/feel based on our own opinions and judgments. This occurs so frequently that many of us don't even realize we're doing it. And for the most part it comes from a place of good intentions as we feel we're helping that person out by giving them this "advice."
Yes, sometimes it's good to hear what others think and feel about a situation, but this should only happen if a person asks to hear such. What I mean is that people shouldn't impose their personal opinions/judgments onto someone else if that person hasn't asked them to. To be honest, this can cause a person to feel more unsure and confused than they did before.
What drives me nuts is when someone allows another person's opinions/judgments to influence their own regarding a situation or decision-basically letting someone else dictate their life- whether that be about their physical appearance, who they're interested in/dating, career plans, etc. Yes, it may seem like an act of sincerity and caring on that other person's part, but sometimes this can do more damage than good.
It's easy to forget this sometimes, but please remember-
your life is your life. Your own opinions and judgments are worthy of you actually listening to. Give yourself more credit. YOU, not anyone else, will be the one living with the results of the choices YOU make. And if you screw up, at least let it be because of a decision you made for yourself, not one that someone else made for you.
The moment you let someone else dictate your thoughts and actions is the moment you stop living for yourself.
Do not, I repeat, do not let people tell you how to live your life or let their opinions and judgments influence your own. It doesn't matter if it's your best friend, professor, or even family in some cases, because remember, at the end of the day you're the one who is going to feel the effects of the actions you take.
You're the one who is going to live with all the outcomes of the chances and decisions you make. Not your mom, not your best friend, but YOU.
People in your life will want to tell you what's right and wrong for you, but only from their perspective. Don't let them, unless of course, they have actual facts, not hearsay, to prove what they're telling you. However, they could just be biased against a certain situation.
One person's opinion doesn't determine the truth.
For instance, if you tell your friend how much you want to change your major from English to psychology, and that friend either had one bad experience in a psychology class or heard rumors from others about just how awful that major is, they'll almost certainly try to stop you. Don't let them!
If you love psychology, by all means, pursue it! It may be the wrong fit for your friend and others, but the right fit for you! And you may even end up becoming a well-known and successful psychologist one day. However, if you let your friend's opinions sway you, you'll never find out.
Another instance, if you tell your friend how amazing the new guy/girl you're interested in is and they either don't like that person for personal reasons or heard gossip about them, they may try to stop you from seeing them.
Again, don't listen to them, unless they actually know this person well and can give you hard facts and not hearsay.
However, if they don't really know them, then take their opinions with a grain of salt, say thank you for their "advice," and by all means see that person! You'll never know the truth about him/her if you don't actually get to know them well. If you have a good intuition about them, listen to it! Who knows? He/she could end up being your future spouse one day but you'll never know that if you let others talk you out of pursuing them.
What I hope you come away from this article with is the inner strength and courage to listen to yourself. You have just as worthy an opinion/judgment as anyone else. No one can tell you what's best for you except you. Trust the inner voice in your head. Trust your logic. And if you fail? Oh well, at least it will be on your part, not someone else's.
You have one life to live, so live it how you want.
Of course, I'm not saying to disregard all advice and opinions from people, just to only listen to such if they can back up what they're telling you with actual facts and experience. Even still, at the end of the day you need to be the one determining what you do with your life, not anyone else. And if people don't like it, too bad for them. As long as you're happy and in a good place then that's all that matters.
So go and change your major to something you actually want, go explore that country you've always wanted to visit, go ask out that person you've been crushing on, go apply for that job 3,000 miles away.
Go and live the life that was mean't for you.
