I’m sure many women and girls could relate to this: you’re taking public transportation, doing something for your job, or you’re waiting for your class to start, and a guy comes up to you and creepily says that you’re cute and that you should call him sometime. Not only are these guys annoying, but they also act entitled to you— that you must want them. After experiencing this numerous times, I can say this: No, I am not and will never be interested in you.
When I have been approached by these types of guys I have been doing something every other person does—traveling for work, shopping for groceries, or waiting for class. The only difference is that I am a young woman who is by herself. These men often have low self-esteem and are trying to elevate themselves by flirting with a woman who is alone, because if she is alone, then she must be an easy catch.
Stop. I am not looking for someone like you. I am only trying to accomplish what I need to do in a day. Your flirting is not flattering to me-- it only serves to make me feel annoyed and uneasy.
Something that has always annoyed me when these kinds of men do this is how entitled they act. When I have expressed no interest in them, they have a tendency to become angry and push even harder for my number.
Listen, just because I am out by myself does not mean that I am looking for men, does not mean you have permission to be rude to me, and most of all it does not mean that you are entitled to me for your sexual pleasure.
Every time I have encountered these kinds of men, I know they do not want a relationship, they just want a sex object they can use and toss when they are done. I just want to go about my day and accomplish all that has been set before me. You are trying to get through your day as well, so why not give me the same respect and let me do the same?
I believe guys act this way because of the way our culture has been set up to treat women.
Women are not people, they are objects, meaning you can do or say whatever you want to them. Our society conveys the message that a woman should be in a relationship, or, if she is single, she must want a relationship. These creepers also hint at the problem with consent in any kind of interaction.
When I'd tell these men that I didn’t want their numbers or I would not give them mine, they would not respect the fact that I said no—they believed if they berated me enough I would eventually give in.
Most of the time a man will not be bothered by anyone when he is going through his day. But a young woman walking by herself becomes a flashing sign for creepers to comment on her body, stare at her breasts, or ask multiple times for her number after she has said no.
No, I will not give in. I said no, and I mean it.
If I do not want to be with you, I mean it. I am not always looking for a relationship, and I am allowed to feel this way.
