Today in my interpersonal communication class, our professor asked an unusual question.
"Do we need people?"
You might be thinking either A. of course we need people, that's a stupid thing to ask, or B. after this syllabus week and catching up with everyone and their mother, I'm ready to say goodbye to all people for good.
In light of my senior year, I've been reflecting a lot on my relationships throughout college, and I realized I could have tried a lot harder. There were classmates, roommates, and friends who made a real impact on my life, but after a new semester, different room, or new group of friends I gave up on them when it wasn't convenient for us anymore.
If there's one thing I've learned lately, it's that people are worth it and you need to show them. Here are my 5 reasons why you should stop giving up on people and start caring more:
1. Because people are just as busy as you are.
It's easy to say "I don't have enough time," or "I have too much to do," but that's not an excuse to not spend time with someone. We go around saying, "yeah we should totally hang out!" and then never do it. Next time you say that to someone, actually follow through with your plans by making the plan right then and there. Taking time out of your schedule for someone else is a great way to show that they are important to you.
2. Because people say things they don't mean.
Everyone has a breaking point. We all have snapped when we've only gotten 2 hours of sleep, or haven't eaten a decent meal in days, or just got out of 3 exams, 2 meetings, and a million different homework assignments in one day. Just because someone called you a bitch last Tuesday doesn't mean they think you have a serious character flaw and are telling the whole campus not to be your friend. You have to show grace in relationships, even when it's hard.
3. Because people are just as stressed as you are.
Writing someone off as a stressful person is not fair in college. We all have crazy weeks and friends/family/roommate situations that make us psycho, but so what? If anything, that gives you more to talk through and relate with, so use your time and conversations to relieve each other's stresses.
4. Because people deserve to be listened to.
AND Listening is not about one-upping someone's problems. While there are plenty of struggles people have that may be better or worse than your struggles, they are still issues and people want them to be heard. Even if it seems like there's that one person who is constantly complaining, 9 times out of 10 there is a deeper issue at hand. The more you actively listen to people and spend quality time with them, the more trust you can build.
5. Because people need to be loved.
And not always in a romantic way - people need to be certain that they are important, and you can show them that by taking the time to love them. I've found the 5 love languages (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/) to be extremely helpful in enhancing relationships. When you become aware of how a person accepts and gives love, you can better love and accept them too.
The worst thing about people is that we're just that -- people. People mess up and are so imperfect, no wonder it's so hard to make friends, keep friends, or feel like you are a fulfilling person to talk to. So the next time you think you hate everyone or feel like everyone hates you, take a step back and realize maybe it's time for some reflection. Maybe it's time to stop giving up on people because I'm too busy, too stressed, don't care, or feel like they don't love me. Maybe it's time to start listening, loving people better and realizing some people are worth trying for.
