I think one of the most exhausting experiences I have encountered in my life is this sense of trying to give every ounce of my energy and soul to people that would just devour it. No matter how hard I would try to "save" them from whatever crisis they were dealing with, they would end up just backstabbing me and destroying me.
I started to realize over the last couple of years that I care more about other people than I care about myself. While it is good to put other people before yourself, what isn't good is not keeping yourself on the right track and giving all of your energy to the wrong kinds of people. I feel as if my self-worth is based on how I can help someone in need. Even though most of the time, those people "in need" are taking advantage of my kindness and what I have to offer them.
There reaches a point where once a person completely drains you, it leaves you struggling to get up out of bed every single morning. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion, it seems like for a minute to pass by it takes an eternity. This constant struggle of moving on with the next task of the day is weighing your entire mind and body down. It's this funk you can't escape and once you're caught in it, it devours you. Yet, that other person moves on with their day. They sucked up all of your energy because you allowed them to and no, they will not give you a single ounce of their energy.
When this cycle happens on a daily basis and you start questioning where your focus really is, it can really affect the way you go about your everyday life. It's time to stop giving all of that energy to people that just eat it up and don't give you any in return and start giving it to yourself for once. I guess in some ways being selfish can be a positive thing if you do it properly. If you're too busy caring about everyone else around you and not yourself, how do you expect to move forward with your own life? Once the energy is invested in yourself, then you can make sure there is a balance in your life when you continuously give to yourself and give to others that deserve it. Don't let the toxic people take all of your energy and leave you on empty all over again.
Take a step back and realize the importance you have in your life. At the end of the day, the only person you truly have is yourself. No matter what happens, you need to make sure that you have the energy and power to get you through any tough situation you may come across in your life. Once you're able to focus all your energy into different things and experiences that make you happy, that's when you will start living a fulfilled life.
