Author's Note: I recognize community service and other co-ed fraternities, but this article focuses on the stigma of all-male fraternities.

I’m often asked why I chose to be in a fraternity. And until recently, I never really knew the answer. I mean, I knew how I felt about my fraternity, but I wasn’t sure how to convey it verbally to those who didn’t understand.

I realized that if I—an active brother in a fraternity—couldn’t even articulate why, then how could I expect other people to get it. I was so frustrated with “Frat Shaming” and I knew it didn’t reflect me or my fraternity, but how could I blame the media and outsiders for their way of thinking if I couldn’t even explain it myself. Especially with recent stories of Greek Life around the country.

So here I am. To help stop “Frat Shaming” and talk about what fraternities truly are about.

A FRATERNITY IS NOT A SOCIAL GROUP

One of the most common remarks I receive is: “A fraternity just seems like a social group you pay to be a part of and buy friends in college.”

Let me debunk the myth that a fraternity is an excuse to pay for friends.

Being in a fraternity means you are a part of something bigger than yourself. Think of it like this: If someone pays a membership fee to join a gym or a country club, they aren’t buying muscles or meaningless conversation with other rich couples. They are putting money into being a part of something bigger than themselves with likeminded people with the same goals of bettering themselves as humans.

I don’t pay dues to be in a fraternity so I have people to party with or hang out with (although those are both great perks of fraternities). I pay dues to be granted a membership into something I believe in and something that I truly feel makes me a better man.

Okay, hopefully I cleared that up.

A FRATERNITY IS A BROTHERHOOD

Trust me, I get it. I get that it’s funny to think about a brotherhood if you have never been a part of one before (fraternity, sports team, etc). Many people like to make a mockery of the term “brotherhood.”

And if I’m being honest, I didn’t quite get it at first either.

But as I have grown throughout college and experienced many different things, I finally found how to verbalize what a brotherhood is.

A brotherhood is a group of guys who bring you their gently used clothes. “Why?” you ask? Because when my house caught on fire nearly one year ago, some of the first people by my side to support me were my fraternity brothers. It took only a few days for them to bring me a giant bag full of a variety of clothing items because much of mine had been burned in the fire. I was never so happy to receive ugly, oversized t-shirts and baggy pajama bottoms.

A brotherhood is a group of guys who travel hours to another city to be with their fraternity brother. “Why?” you ask? Because that brother’s mom had just died and they found it necessary to be with him in his time of need and help him through his roughest moments.

A brotherhood goes just beyond the current active members, but extends to those that came before. These lifelong connections shared by brothers lead to networking opportunities and other benefits after graduation. Some of the wealthiest and most influential men in America were members of fraternities (listed at the bottom).

Those are just three examples. Hopefully you get the point.

IT'S NOT ALL FUN AND (DRINKING) GAMES

You see it all the time in the movies: the huge "rager" put on by a fraternity with a bunch of booze and crazy shenanigans. A lot of that is true and it’s pretty awesome—I won’t lie.

But as much as I wish fraternities could take credit for inventing partying and own the rights to it; it’s just not true. Everyone likes to party — especially college kids. But to assume all fraternities do is get drunk, do drugs and throw huge parties is as ignorant as those things sound.

But don’t get me wrong: the parties are awesome.

EVER HEAR OF PHILANTHROPIES?

It seems mainstream media and the average person likes to neglect the philanthropic efforts of fraternities nationwide. Many universities dedicate weeks of the year to philanthropies for Greek Life.

Philanthropy events include, but are not limited to, raising money or awareness for a cause, volunteering, partnering with local organizations and many more.

According to Statista.com, it was found that the top fraternity in 2012 who donated the most money to charity raised upwards of $1.5 million. You read that correctly--$1.5 million for charity; not booze and party equipment (beer bongs, plastic cups, ping pong balls, goats, exotic animals, etc).

LET’S WRAP IT UP (ALWAYS USE PROTECTION)

Fraternities aren’t for everyone, and that’s fine. But there is no need to continue “Frat Shaming” in the media when in fact fraternities are some of the most philanthropic and generous college organizations in the world.

I understand where the negative stigma derives from and acknowledge some of the horrible things select fraternities have done. But please don't let one fraternity's chapter influence how you think of men in fraternities everywhere.

Get to know us and our values. We don't bite, unless you're into that...

If you don’t want to be in a fraternity because you think they are a waste of time and money, that’s fine. We probably don’t want you anyways.

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FAMOUS FRATERNITY ALUMNI

CEOs (via Fortune.com)
• Rex Tillerson, Exxon Mobile (Alpha Phi Omega)
• Warren Buffet, Berkshire Hathaway (Alpha Sigma Phi)
• Jeffrey Immelt, General Electric (Phi Delta Alpha)
• W. James McNerney Jr., Boeing (Delta Kappa Epsilon)
• Alan G. Lafley, Procter & Gamble (Psi Upsilon)
• ...and many more

U.S. Presidents (via Franbecque.com)
• George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford (Delta Kappa Epsilon)
• Ronald Reagan (Tau Kappa Epsilon)
• John F. Kennedy (Phi Kappa Theta)
• Franklin D. Roosevelt (Alpha Delta Phi)
• Woodrow Wilson (Phi Kappa Psi)
• ...and many more