Stop Complaining About F*ckboys And Be Grateful They’re In Your Life

Stop Complaining About F*ckboys And Be Grateful They’re In Your Life

OK fine, you can still complain sometimes.
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By now, there probably aren’t many f*ckboys I haven’t crossed paths with: f*ckboys from class, f*ckboys who don’t initially seem like f*ckboys, f*ckboys who wanted to date but later decided not to, and f*ckboys who are very obviously f*ckboys but for some reason, you want them anyway. You name the type, and I’ve probably encountered at least one.

But even though f*ckboys suck, we still put up with them.

And while I’m incredibly guilty of complaining about f*ckboys, I recently realized that instead, I should be grateful for them because the lessons they’ve reinforced over the past three years have been invaluable.

(Note: I'm not saying you can't learn these lessons elsewhere. I'm merely suggesting that since f*ckboys are now a dime a dozen, you might as well reap some benefit of inevitable heartache.)

It's because of f*ckboys that I’ve been reassured that not everyone deserves another chance.

I’ve always been incredibly forgiving, and as a result, I dole out second chances quite often. Unfortunately, second chances usually become third, fourth, and fifth chances. There isn’t one excuse in the book that I haven’t used when it comes to explaining to friends why I’m taking back F*ckboy #3 for the tenth time.

If you’re like me, then realize you’re making excuses for these boys in hopes that they’ll magically change overnight. Then, understand that they won’t change—not because you didn’t try hard enough, but because they never wanted to change in the first place (no matter how often they claim otherwise).

Also realize that you’ll probably respect and care for them more than they respect and care for you.

Not everyone in life will treat you with equal respect, and that’s fine. But if one more person tells me that I signed up for poor treatment because I’m part of the hookup culture, I promise I'll scream. Basic human decency is not an outrageous request.

F*ckboy or not, I’m not asking you to make me the center of your world; I’m simply asking you to treat me with the same care and respect you present your friends.

But the most important thing to remember about f*ckboys is that you’re never the only girl.

Stop being naive and internalize this. If you’re not exclusive with someone, there’s likely someone else. Hell, even the committed ones can be sketchy these days. Be careful. There are amazing people out there, but if you’re f*cking with a f*ckboy, don’t be fooled.

For the past three years, I've been handed some of the sh*ttiest people. But to all the f*ckboys (past, present, and future): thank you. It’s because of you all that I’m stronger, smarter, and less tolerant of all of your bullsh*t.

Don’t get me wrong, I want you in my life for various reasons, and I'll likely still complain from time to time. But just know that girls are only becoming more well-versed in your games. So give it your best shot.

Cover Image Credit: pexels

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To My Boyfriend's Mom

He loves you more than you could ever imagine...
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Without you, there would not be a him, so first things first, thank you.

1. Thank you for teaching him to love a woman the right way, to put God first, and YOU before me always, the respect he shows you is so attractive, and you deserve it.

He talks about you like you hung the moon, I don't doubt for a second that he will be an amazing father one day, I owe all of that to you.

2. Thank you for giving me a chance, learning to love me when you knew your son was doing the same.

I can't speak for my own first impressions, but hopefully mine was not THAT bad...when we both slapped him on the arms for his rude remark at the same time, I knew our relationship was already blossoming.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

3. Thank you for every meal you have ever purchased me.

And chocolate, and candy...you know just as well as your son does that food is the way to my heart. Especially Taco Bell and cheesecake ;)

4. Thank you for your advice, suggestions, and opinions...and asking for mine

Whether it's telling me to slap him for being a smart a$$, or you're asking me about color swabs for your kitchen makeover, you come to me as if I am your own, and I am so honored to give you my own input.

5. Thank you for including me

You never fail to leave a spot for me, and I love family dinners/outings with you guys just as much as I love my own!

6. Thank you for teaching your son to never give up, and that if he does it is only to better himself, or it's the only choice he has left.

He is so focused on his future, he wants the best for himself, and he is constantly reminding me that these are things that YOU taught him, you deserve to be so proud.

7. Thank you for letting him love my family, and allowing me to love yours.

He is so loyal and loving to my family, and I don't even have to ask myself why because I see him with you and yours. Thank you for letting us double up on holidays when we can, and making sure we get the most out of our time with you!

8. Thank you for being his best friend.

I think of him as mine too, but I couldn't think of a better person to also hold that title, you know him better than anyone else and you always will.

9. Thank you for teaching him how to treat a woman

He is constantly telling me "You sound like my mother." Thankfully earlier in our relationship, he told me that the woman he wants to be with, should do just that. He always tells people who try, "No, no one calls me by my full name except my mom and my girlfriend."

10. Thank you for your honesty

We all know that he and I can drive you crazy sometimes, thank you for telling us like it is, and making sure we know you still love us anyways.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

11. Thank you for teaching him to work as hard as possible in anything and everything he does.

I have never met anyone with such a desire for success, he and I are constantly discussing how we can better our futures, and I know exactly where his drive comes from.

12. Thank you for teaching him to clean up after himself

Even though sometimes, it takes him a minute to do so.

13. Thank you for teaching him how to love, and letting him love me.

I have never felt so loved by a man, probably because anyone else who came into my life was just a boy. Thank you for your unconditional love for him, he is your entire heart and that is so easy to see, I am happy to share his with you.

You and I both know that even years from now we will both occasionally probably be closing the fridge that he left open, cleaning the crumbs he dropped, demanding he take a shower after playing soccer, or reminding him 20 times about plans we made weeks ago, we both share such a great love for such an amazing man. I could never be more thankful that you brought forth into this world such a comforting, supportive, protective, steadfast, driven, handsome, and hilarious guy. Thank you for everything you do for him, for me, and for us, I love you a lot!

Cover Image Credit: casey

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If She Can't Tell You How She Feel Then It's Her Fault If She Is Upset

We aren't mind readers, its not our fault if you get upset for me not knowing how you feel.

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Be vocal.

Feeling hurt? Feel betrayed? Or, that someone is pushing you around? Step up and say something. If you remain silence for months on end and then one day explode, then sorry.

That is on you, not me.

Having a relationship is all about communication. That means you discuss your feelings. You listen and exchange conversation. If you are unable to communicate about how you feel, it's not the other person's fault. You had months to explain how you felt. Instead, you sat there in silence. You can't expect someone to hold your hand and walk you through your problems. If you are feeling hurt, you need to step up and say something. It's not their fault you kept your feelings silenced. A relationship without communication is destined to die. And if you can't express how you feel to them you have already nailed the confine closed.

A relationship goes two ways. It's about building and growing together.

If someone is unable to properly communicate their feelings, then how is that relationship going to grow. People need to step up and say how they feel.

Got something to say? Say it.

Staying in the silence isn't going to help anyone. It's not going to help your hurt feelings or fix the situation. Chances are, the other person in the relationship doesn't even know what is going on. Say something. Speak up. Want to change the situation? Make the first step. A relationship is about growing together. If you can't give the person the chance to grow through a mistake then the relationship was never a true one. You can't expect someone to be perfect all the time. You need to understand that people make mistakes and if you are truly invested in the relationship, you would stand up and say something.

People are not mind readers. It doesn't matter who started it.

They said something that hurt you? Say something about it. The situation won't change. So, don't expect to sit around and watch the situation change. You could what changes a bad situation for others. But if you stand there acting all innocent or quite, guess what. You are the one in the end to blame. Not them. They did nothing wrong at the end, because you nailed that confine shut when you decided not to speak up. Don't proceed to attack them about it. Be open. Be honest.

Staying quiet isn't going to change the situation.

So don't yell and cry when things don't work out.

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