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Don't Wait For Push Come To Shove to stop being a pushover

You owe it to yourself to say no.

Nour Elshazly

Jun 26, 2018

UCLA

Don't Wait For Push Come To Shove to stop being a pushover

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There is a very fine line between being nice and being a pushover, a very fine line.

Yes, most of us are inclined to be nice and maybe even go out of our way for some people from time to time. But, if you find yourself doing favors all the time or to the point that your own life is being affected by it, you've become a pushover. I've learned this is especially true if you have roommates you're not necessarily friends with, but have to cohabitate with and would rather there not be any sort of tension.You are not obligated to take time out of your life and inconvenience yourself for others, especially when those people wouldn't do the same for you. If you're busy, say you're busy, or just say no. It's ok to say no.

I know how this feeling because I was one of the biggest pushovers out there. I would go out of my way for people I had just met, a lot of the times at the expense of my own convenience. I would do things for others, knowing damn well that if the roles were reversed they wouldn't go out of their way like that for me. I was worried about the confrontation that could arise if I said "no" and it wasn't received well by the other person.

But sometimes you have to take a step back and just say "who cares." Who cares if they're upset or annoyed that you don't want to take them to the store or whatever; you are not responsible for them.

I came to a realization one day that I needed to start putting myself first and say "no" to people. I still struggle with giving people a flat out "no" but I'm working toward it. It's a process. Since I've started to say no, life has been so much better. That's not to say I'm not a nice person and don't do anything for anyone anymore, but I am more conscious. If I'm busy, I'll say "I'm busy," and it doesn't have to be something consuming your every second for you to claim that you're busy. Maybe you're in the middle of reading an article or scrolling through your news feeds. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you don't want to do something, don't do it.

It's important for all of us to worry about ourselves first and not feel bad about it. Seriously, you owe it to yourself.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Don't Wait For Push Come To Shove to stop being a pushover

You owe it to yourself to say no.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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