As I was trying to think of what to write for my next article, my best friend texted me with a screenshot of her most recent Instagram posts with a comment under one of her pictures saying "Your nose is HUGE". I was shocked someone would ever post that. She was upset. It was a feature about herself she wasn't too confident about. It was also something no one has ever pointed out to her before.
This is what is so wrong with the world. This is one of the many reasons why so many people succumb to depression. So many people are quick to point out the flaws that we might have. There are barely any people that would go up to you saying how they love your shoes or your dress. They're quick to talk about you behind your back like "Whoa that girl isn't wearing a bra" or "wow that outfit does not compliment her body at all". Well you know what? Maybe she doesn't like wearing bra (to be honest what girl likes wearing bras). Maybe she bought that outfit because SHE felt confident in it. SHE wore it because SHE felt beautiful.
"In a society that profits from self doubt, loving yourself is a rebellious act."
The other night I went shopping with one of my friends because her boyfriend was going to take her on a fancy date this weekend. She was telling me how none of her clothes were fitting because of all the relationship weight she gained. I never even noticed but it was something I could see bothered her. While we were out shopping she tried on various dresses for me. She kept asking if this looked good on her. What I kept asking her is "What do YOU feel confident in?" I didn't want her to choose something based on how I felt. It should be all about how she feels in that outfit. I knew her boyfriend was going to be speechless regardless of what she wore that night. I wanted to make sure she felt beautiful in what she chose and she did.
As a woman who has dealt with many self confidence issues just within the past couple years alone, I know how it feels to feels as if you're on top of the world and one little comment can send you tumbling back down to the bottom. It could take over 100 selfies before I pick the perfect one to post on Instagram or Facebook. I finally end up with a beautiful picture but still remain so frustrated because of how long it took to take that picture. It took walking around my house trying to find the perfect lighting that would compliment my best features while hiding what I felt like were flaws. Oh I know all of you girls who are reading this do the exact thing. I mean there are phone cases out there now that are meant to light up your face for the perfect selfie.
Over the years, I learned to be more confident with myself. I wore clothes I felt confident in. I put on my makeup the way I like it. I styled my hair the way I wanted it to be. I mean am I still self confident about some things? Of course I am. Some of the features I want to change about myself are my smile and my thunder thighs. I hate taking pictures because I feel like I never smile right. I hate trying on jeans and pants in general because I need to find a size that my thighs and calves can fit into. At the same I need to wear a belt because my waist is so much smaller than the rest of my body. Dressing rooms can be brutal when trying on clothes you thought you loved. Do I let these things get to me? Not anymore. I have refused to let society control the way I should think about my body.
"Confidence is not 'they will like me'. Confidence instead is 'Ill be fine if they don't'".
Christina Grimme
So next time you see a random girl on the street, compliment her. Anything about her. Smile at her. You do not know how her day is going. Don't just do this for the girls. Do this for the guys too. It's the little things that make or break a person's day. My best friend who was hurt by that Instagram comment and the friend I went shopping with are both gorgeous women and I hope they get to see this. To anyone that is reading this, I want you to know that you are beautiful too. <3
