Why is it that my relationship status is one of the first things relatives and old friends ask me when we see each other?
There's this strange association that equates being single with loneliness or even something wrong with the individual. I could say that I'm single and not looking for anything in the most jovial tone and yet I'd still be met with the typical "He's out there, just you wait!" Thanks for assuming I even want a boyfriend? Let alone am actively pursuing a relationship? I'm not too sure how guys typically relate to this subject when it comes to being shamed for not having a significant other, but I know for me I'm perfectly fine being on my own.
To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I'm quite ready to be in a serious relationship. I'm a graduating senior in college in a city that I didn't grow up in. There's a good chance that my life might direct me in places I never expected. And that's great! I've been going to school to earn a degree so I could eventually transition into a full-time career, not so that I could find a guy. Trust me, if that were my objective, I would have done my parents and myself a favor and not wasted the money going to a university. But I did choose this path! I'm in the process of bettering myself and if someone somehow fits into that chaos, then it's meant to be. If not? You won't see me sweating it.
Drawing back to the notion that single people must be lonely, it is simply absurd. I attend a university that houses over 40,000 students. My friends, both in Southern California and back home, are the best and are in contact with me presently. I have a family that loves me unconditionally. If anything, some of the people who get wrapped up in their relationship are the ones who find themselves isolated. Suddenly this one person is their absolute universe and their friends–who have usually been in the picture longer–are suddenly brushed to the side. C'mon, we all know a friend like this, when they get out of the relationship they virtually have no one because they gave all of their self to one individual.
So maybe I'm a little selfish. I want to focus on finishing up college and then transitioning into a career, but I want to be hands on with my work. Striving toward creating something or making a difference is what I'm after, and I don't want a potential relationship interfering in that plan.
If there's one thing that I believe is the ultimate upside to being single, it's the freedom to find yourself. When you're not with someone you figure out your likes, interests and ultimately you! The most ironic aspect about this is that half the time people who take the time to focus on themselves usually attract the right people into their lives. Finding time to workout, explore the city, go out with friends etc. are all available to you all the time. Not to say that people in relationships don't go out or have fun, it's just a bit more involved.
The next time I see my grandma will she most likely ask if I've found a boy? Yes, but I guess it's just one of those things you have to deal with when you're perpetually single. Luckily, I have a whole lot of freedom to balance out the negatives. And for this single girl about to enter the real, adult world, I wouldn't want anything more.
