Picture it: You’re partying with your best friends; people you’ve collected over the last four (or five or six…not judging) years in a place you now call home. You’ve finished your exams, you’ve packed your things, the only thing left to do is walk across that stage and get your diploma. By the time you get to that magical moment where they call your name and you get to say you did it, you’ve probably gotten this question at least a hundred times: So, what are you doing after graduation? So many times in fact that you’re probably ready to just staple a notecard to your forehead with your information.

For some people, the answer is easy. You have a job lined up, an apartment leased, or you’re moving back home to save some money and work for a company near by. But for others, that question is just another dreadful bit of small talk we’re forced into because people don’t know what else to say, and we're tired of it. We completely understand, you’re curious what we plan to do, where we’re going. Believe me when I tell you, we’d like to know too.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that after high school we’re supposed to go to college and know exactly what we want to be. No one tells you it’s okay to change your mind. Then when we graduate college we’re supposed to have this elaborate plan of what our lives are going to be. For most 21 and 22-year-old college grads, that’s just not the case. We can hardly find our phones, let alone know where we see ourselves in ten years. We have to stop forcing ourselves to conform to the belief that we should have it all figured out. We’ve spent countless hours thinking of the future. Sometimes when “the future” is upon us, we just need a minute to say “hey, maybe I’m not ready, maybe I don’t have a plan like my other friends and classmates.” And I’m telling you right now, THAT’S OKAY.

For those of you wondering, what should I ask? The answer is simple. Avoid asking, what our plans are, and ask “what do you want to do?” Aren’t these questions the same? NO. Here’s why.

Asking someone what their plan is, implies that they have one. If they don’t, it’s a surefire way to make them feel inadequate. It will make them question themselves, and probably panic. Not having a plan in a world that values having it all together at all times is enough to give any 20-something a nervous breakdown. In some cases, they just spent four years trying to figure it out, and aren’t any closer to having a plan.

So, ask us what we want to do. Ask us if we want to travel and where. Ask what our dreams are for the future. Whether we have a plan to get there or not, those are the questions that make us realize there are more important things in life than having it all together. Sure, you’ve got to be practical, money makes the world go round and you need some of it to pursue your passions. But there are so many ways, so many avenues to happiness that learning to stand on your own and finding out who you are and what you really want is way more important than knowing how to get there right away.

To those interested, show us that you care. Ask us more than what we’re doing next, and ask us what we WANT to do next. That one word, makes all the difference.

And to all of the recent grads out there, those with and without plans alike, know that you’re not alone. Even when it feels like you’re continuously running head first into a brick wall (or you’d rather do that than answer that question again) just know that wherever you want to go in life, someday you’ll get there. When you do get there, you’ll be happier knowing that the journey was worth the wait. For now, bask in the celebration of the moment, another milestone to check off the ever growing list. The world is yours.