To The Family Members Always Asking About Marriage, Please Stop
Start writing a post
Weddings

To The Family Members Always Asking About Marriage, Please Stop

Marriage is the furthest thing from my mind right now.

1642
https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-black-long-sleeved-shirt-and-woman-in-black-dress-888899/
Pexels

At family functions, I always get asked at some point, "Are you and your boyfriend going to get married down the line?" Granted, my boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years, so you could say that we're pretty committed.

But that doesn't mean he's who I'll marry.

Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and would like to spend the rest of my life with him, but I get stressed out when people ask me if he's who I'm going to marry. I don't really think that far.

I try to live in the moment in my relationship. I want to go with the flow and not get caught up in the future. I don't want to get my hopes up only to have them come crashing down around me. Plus it can be stressful to think about marriage when you don't even know what you want to do as a career.

Whenever my family asks me about marrying my boyfriend, I usually say yes. I feel like that's the answer they want to hear, but it doesn't feel genuine when I say it. Just because the response isn't genuine, doesn't mean that I wouldn't want marriage with my boyfriend to happen. I'd love that actually. But it's not a reality at this point in time, so I don't want to act like it is.

My boyfriend and I are both 20 years old. There are people our age who get married, but it doesn't happen often. When I was a kid, I imagined getting married in my late 20s to early 30s. Then having kids when I became financially stable. My dream was to be able to spend enough time with my significant other that I knew them well enough to make the big commitment of marriage.

I understand the the question of marriage could come from a caring place in my family's heart. I can see it as them showing that they support my boyfriend and I's relationship. But they could also show support by just checking in to see how things are going. After all, when did marriage become so important?

In a way, I feel like the question of marriage when pointed at a girl is sexist. I get asked this question at almost every family gathering, while my boyfriend is asked it a lot less. It's as if I'm being told subconsciously that my time is running out to settle down and start a family. That is something I'll do on my own watch, thank you very much.

I remember the first time that I was asked if my boyfriend and I were planning on getting married. A family friend was asking about my relationship and I was talking about how long we had been together, what we plan to do with our lives, etc. She then asked if he's the one I plan to marry. I was caught off guard at first, because my boyfriend and I had been dating for a little over a year at this point.

While a year can be a long time in a relationship, I feel like you're still getting to know the person and there's still so much that you don't know about them. Plus this was my first real relationship, so I was still trying to figure out what did and didn't work in the relationship. I still do that today.

After I have settled into my adult life, I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of marriage. Marriage has been a life goal of mine since a young age, but I know that I should take the opportunity when the timing is right and not when I feel pressured into it. Marriage is a huge commitment and not something to be stressed out about. Plus, why does everyone around me care so much anyways?

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

89673
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

61944
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments