According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 48 percent of men and women in the country experienced psychological abuse in a relationship. However, a quick search for domestic abuse on Google will bring up more hotlines and help for Domestic Violence than anything else.
Growing up watching television or sitting in class we are taught to look for warning signs of physical abuse. So why is it that one of the most common forms of abuse is mostly overlooked?
There's a saying I remember we were told as kids, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". It was a cute way to help little kids not let bullies get to them, but I believe that it also helped begin to build up this stigma that emotional abuse is somehow less of a threat. I have even read about cases where victims were told they were irrational or simply shouldn't feel that way.
There are crisis centers and therapy homes for those who have suffered physical assault and abuse, yet there are much fewer resources for those who suffer from psychological and emotional abuse. I have multiple people in my life who have suffered from emotionally abusive relationships, but because there are no bruises and no scars, it's harder for them to talk about it.
The scarring is there, though. Victims talk about almost feeling like they are going crazy. With no help from the abuser who encourages these feelings to keep them trapped. When we see this happening in restaurants, shops, theaters, any public places instead of ignoring it or laughing along at the taunting, we should be taking a stand against it.
Instead of teaching our children that words can never hurt them, teach them to be kind because words can actually hurt more.
"Psychology Today" lists the behaviors of emotional abuse as, "Behaviors that involve deception, denial, contradiction, and invalidation." It also includes isolation of the victim and condescending remarks.
Noticing the warning signs of emotional abuse is a key way to help those victims who often feel unsure and even irrational about claiming abuse. It can be a scary and tricky time for those in abusive relationships to validate how they are feeling. Showing support to make a change can be all the difference they need to take the leap and find a way out.
Emotional abuse is something that can feel like it is sucking the life out of someone who has so much light and potential. Instead of telling these victims to "buck up" or that they're "just being sensitive" we need to reach out and protect them.
We need to help them, give them the courage to walk away and know that they deserve so much better than what they are being given. Domestic violence is a very serious issue and so is emotional abuse in relationships.
Emotional abuse needs to stop being overlooked in society and start being treated with the same gravity as physical abuse. Because abuse is abuse even if the scars aren't visible.
