Yes, we all know the infamous saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” We were told this for many a pointless third-grade playground quarrel in which our teachers told us to not pay too much mind to the quick-tongued and ill thought out insults by our classmates (such as booger face and butthead). Then, alas, we all have sat there and thought...is there really much validity to this statement?

We have no input in how our body reacts to an external force- physical injuries cannot always be helped and we don’t have much effect on them afterward except for how we choose to manage pain and maximize healing. Whereas, perhaps, we have the choice to let words affect us. Someone can say to me, “You’re not a good person.” I can then choose to let that bruise my ego and hurt my heart. I can choose to hold that with me like a burdening injury. Or I can choose to let it go.

Yet, on another hand, most physical injuries do tend to heal and get better. Whereas, spiteful words can be held around forever. Words can end relationships: romantic, friendly, family, work-related, all sorts. Your significant other might push you in their sleep and that may cause some slight external pain in that moment but that would be all. Yet imagine if they woke up and told you they didn’t want to be with you anymore- well, damn, that would hurt a hell of a lot more. You could sit up in bed and say in your head, “Let it go, dude” all you wanted but chances are it’s going to take you a couple of months and some major self-analyzing and fixing-up to do that.

So here I ask a question, deep to the bones of philosophical query, should we let words hold as much emotional weight as we do?

Perhaps it is a societal issue. Maybe we let other's opinions on us and how we choose to live our lives mean too much. Maybe we are too sensitive. Maybe nothing matters unless we let it and we just let it matter considerably more than it should. Maybe, just maybe, we should look at words for what they are- just words. Just letters. Just synonyms and sounds that come out of our mouths and the emotion behind them only means something if we choose to let it. Maybe.

I, sometimes very fortunately and sometimes not quite as fortunately, am a big feeler. I am a highly emotional person who doesn’t know what it means to take something with a grain of salt. I cry. A lot. I cry out of happiness, fear, sadness, confusion, frustration, surprise, and love. I cry when I don’t know how else to express my emotion. I cry when I have an anxiety attack. I cry when I miss someone. I cry sometimes when I am just too unbelievably bored. Which brings me to this, I- oh boy have I- cried from words many of times. Looking back I think much of them were very warranted. Many other times, however, it seems I took an extra dose of crazy or poured some estrogen in my coffee that day because I may have been a tad over-dramatic. Everywhere from “You have two broken bones” to “You broke my trust” to “I’m breaking up with you” to “I broke your Harry Potter DVD,” my tears have certainly seen it all.

So have I been handling things the right way? Should I, instead take a step back, take a breath, and just let it go? Should I take every insult, criticism, hard conversation that comes my way and let go of all of the hurt they may bring? Should I balance whether everything that could ever trigger pain should really have an affect on my emotions or not?

Well, I’m sorry folks but I don’t have an answer to this question yet. I think, as a society, we make too many of our decisions in life based upon how we think others will react. I don’t think we need to become numb to others opinions because by doing this we are depriving ourselves of the feeling we get with “I love yous.” We are denying ourselves the chance to evaluate our imperfections, change, and grow. We are preventing the people around us from being able to communicate fairly and have an impact on our lives that we granted them when we allow them to get close to us. Words are not just letters and syllables and sounds, words mean something. Words cause actions. Actions mean something. You mean something, what you do, what you say, your impact on the world does mean something.

Without words all we have is silence. Silence, for a time, is nice. It’s serene. But when the silence gets too loud what are we supposed to do? Where do we run to? How do we stop it from consuming us? The only thing that can fill the void of the piercing sound of silence is by the use of our own vocabulary, leading directly to the use of our voice and the product is a bunch of words that we don’t know how to process.

So give criticism and accept it gently. Speak friendly and listen clearly. Think before you speak and think about what you hear in return.

Desensitizing is not the answer, but over articulating is not either. The answer is a happy medium inside of you that is immeasurable to anyone else. Find that balance and with that, you will live a happier, freer, and more understanding life.