How does that old saying go? The one about the sticks and the stones?
I don't know what they are teaching the youngsters nowadays, but when I was a kid we were taught that words are just words. Although this is an oversimplification designed to make preadolescents feel good about themselves, there is something to be taken away from this. It is true that words can have an impact on how we feel but it is also true that the nature of our society does not care about how we feel. In the midst of all of today's political correctness controversy, it seems that some of us have forgotten that the world is not designed to make us feel good. The real world is a tough place. Sometimes things are going to offend you and that's just a normal part of life. Society is made up of so many different people with different backgrounds and different beliefs. As a consequence, beliefs are going to clash and, because we are human, this might trigger an emotional response.
As an English major, I understand that language as we know it can be a sensitive topic to touch upon. I understand that yes, some words have been historically and systematically empowered to impact the lives of certain people. To not recognize this would be ignorant. I am not saying that words just don't matter, I am simply saying that to some extent we all have control over our emotional responses to what people say to us. Even if a word does have societally-backed implications, at the end of the day we are all free-thinking individuals who can choose to deal with our emotions or not.
A popular argument is that if a particular word has negative implications on someone's life, meaning that it may potentially affect the financial opportunities available to them, the educational opportunities available to them, their resources, etc., an emotional response is only natural. That's fair enough. I mean, it only makes sense. However, we must ask ourselves how relevant our emotions really are in the grand scheme of things.
One of the biggest sources of unhappiness is the misconception that life is supposed to be fair. Although it sucks, the sad reality is that life isn't fair nor was it ever meant to be. It is true that some groups of people have more power in society than others and that's just how things are. While it would be great if things could truly be equal, they simply aren't. The first step in moving forward is accepting this for a fact. Unfortunately, things like hegemony and systematic oppression are real. We do not have much control over these concepts because a lot of this predates all of us and there is evidence that it has existed in even the earliest civilizations. Whether it is moral or immoral is another debate altogether.
The only thing we can really control is ourselves and how we deal with this system (because it is not going anywhere anytime soon). One of my biggest issues with political correctness is that it suggests that somehow people are required to care about how we feel. Although this would be great, it's just not the case. Freedom of speech allows for people to vocalize how they feel and nowhere does it say that it has to make youhappy. The various perspectives that people have are largely based on their upbringing and education. At the same time, there are those individuals who just happen to be inherently rude and disrespectful and that's who they are. I'd much rather have a society where people are vocal about their feelings than a society where people hide their true colors behind the banner of political correctness.
If you do ever hear something that sounds offensive, you have some options. You can either walk away and ignore it, or you can express how you feel and try to have a conversation. Maybe you can get the offender to empathize and see things from your perspective or maybe not. Perhaps someone is adamant and unwilling to listen to your perspective. Whatever the case may be, we all need to come to the realization that it is not our duty to change people's opinions or perspectives nor is it anyone else's duty to make us feel comfortable. Ignorance is not illegal. Some people are ignorant, some people are rude, and some people are just uninformed. Regardless of what, it simply isn't constructive to try and force anyone to not use particular words for the sake of your comfort. It doesn't solve the issue, it only hides it.
I would like to end this by saying that I personally respect the power that words can have which is why I try my best to refrain from using "politically incorrect" words. However, it is unrealistic to expect (or demand) the same compassion from everyone you encounter. As a writer and as an artist I champion freedom of speech and oppose all forms of censorship. I accept that, for whatever reason, some people might hold some beliefs that I find particularly offensive and it is as much their right to believe in these things as it is my right to believe that they're wrong.