I spent this weekend with 4,999 other people and sang in a crowded arena with my hands raised in the air. No, I didn't wear a bucketful of glitter and head off to a rave in the middle of the desert. Instead, songs of praise and worship filled this arena, and welcomed thousands of young Catholics to Steubenville San Diego.
After receiving the sacrament of Confirmation this year, I felt closer to God than ever before. One of my best friends who already experienced two Steubenville conferences before this year, and also received baptism the same night I was confirmed, told me I needed to see it for myself. I graduated high school this year, so it was my last opportunity to attend.
For those who don't know, Steubenville is a Catholic conference for high school students run by Franciscan University of Steubenville. The university hosts several other conferences across the country during the summer, and is even adding Orange County to next year's list of locations.
The conference I attended lasted from Friday to Sunday, and included eucharistic adoration, daily mass, and inspirational keynote speakers. Mary Bielski, Fr. Jose Robles-Sanchez, Paul George, Michael Gormley, Jon Niven and Oscar Rivera Jr. made up the ministry team that lead this life-changing retreat.
Going into this weekend, I felt that I needed reassurance from God about my future. The days on my calendar are slowly filling with more and more red X's, meaning that my college move-in day is quickly approaching. The fear that goes along with that, in addition to other struggles in my life, made the retreat perfectly timed.
Jon Niven kicked off the retreat with worship, and everyone praised God in their own way. Some danced, while others opened their hands upwards as a sign of openness to Christ. As I looked around me at the crowded stadium, I couldn't help but smile. 5,000 people convened in a room for one common pursuit: to discover a deeper sense of God's love.
Every keynote speaker connected to me in some way, and shared individual messages about how to become closer to Christ. Mary Bielski lead the women's talk, and told all us ladies about the importance of self respect and focusing on Jesus, rather than external beauty or men who don't respect us as people.
Her persistent message of self identity jolted me, particularly one line of her's: " A woman who knows who she is will bring men falling to their knees." That advice reminded me the power a woman can have when she stands by her morals, and does not accept less than she deserves. Bielski overall set the tone for the changes I slowly realized I needed to make in my life in order to become a devoted woman of Christ.
Paul George also nailed his talk to incoming high school seniors and college freshmen. He centered his speech around self identity, and that the decisions we make in our life today will affect our futures. 18-23 years old is the startling age range where Catholics lose their faith. George used this a warning for the struggles that go along with adulthood.
His genuine nature and care for each person in that crowd made everyone intently listen until his last sentence. He told us that if we didn't shape our own identities, something else in this world will do it for us and inevitably lead us away from Christ. Near the end of his talk, George acknowledged that every person in that room was special, and uniquely themselves in the best way possible. He then added that true happiness and self discovery truly come from accepting the love of God.
The other speakers, as well as Father Jose Robles-Sanchez, also presented powerful talks that included themes like forgiving those who have betrayed us, making decisions that best represent our relationships with God, and finding fulfillment in Christ instead of things we assume will make us happy.
The most powerful moment for me came during eucharistic adoration. Eucharistic adoration is when a host that has been transformed into Jesus' body is placed in a monstrance and is used to bring the presence of Christ to people worshiping. When Father Robles-Sanchez walked to my row with the monstrance, an overwhelming sense of love and peace wash over me.
I no longer felt anxious about the problems in my life. People around me were also overcome by this energy and couldn't contain their joy. The entire stadium roared with the sound of singing and exclaiming love for God. That night made me feel whole, and gave me the sense of healing that I needed.
The people who experienced Steubenville with me made this weekend particularly special. My previous classmates and youth ministers made up a family that comforted each other in times of vulnerability and rejoiced together in God's love.
When we said our goodbyes, I was temporarily heartbroken when thinking that I won't see them on campus this fall. However, I know that God brought them to this retreat to prepare me to maintain my faith in college. I saw Christ in every one of them, and I feel so grateful to have been with them during one of the best weekends of my life.
