A hallmate told me that I always seem like a happy person. Of course, I'm not always (as my three roomies can attest to), but I do like the idea that people recognize my efforts to always be positive and be present! Positivity: for the seven months of my spectacularly boring college life, this is the main element which has grounded me. And let me tell you, I was absolutely horrible at practicing positivity and present mind in the first six months. It's always easier saying you'll be positive than actually practicing it.
I was happy when I heard I seemed happy. Happiness and positivity appear to go hand in hand, but they're often so far apart from each other it feels like reaching over a cliff. Let's be real. I tried and tried and tried to look on the bright side, the better side, and each time other thoughts would come crawling back. I tried meditation, podcasts, hot tea, hugs, conversations, and still, the negative thoughts would come seeping through.
Not all of these things helped. And that's normal. Everyone is different and deals with things differently. Even if these specific activities don't help you, there's really no harm in trying them. Sometimes, you just need to overload yourself to find what works, then you should just relax. Okay, seriously, don't always overload yourself.
So let's talk about self-fulfilling prophecies. When you believe, it just might be possible. I know, sounds a bit cliche. But self-fulfilling prophecies show us that there is a real connection between belief and behavior. A bit wild, but let's break it down.
Doug believes today will be a great day. He wakes up late and a bit groggy, but is determined to make today a productive, fulfilling day. He goes off to get ready for the day, arriving late to class, but that's okay because he knows the day will be great. In his rush, he spills his hot coffee all over his new white shirt, but that's okay, too. Missing his shower in the morning, Doug thought coffee was a great coverup. Doug takes his seat in the back of the class, crawling over a few people to get to the undesired middle seats. But that's okay, he gets a better view. In the end, Doug ends up meeting some new people and sparking up a conversation over his coffee-stained shirt.
Doug held on to his belief that his day would be a good one, and that influenced his reactions to various events throughout his day. He just as easily could have let any one of those events bring down the rest of his day, but his belief that the day would be good influenced his actual reactions to the lateness and spilled coffee.
Things will not go away just because you try to push those thoughts aside and stuff different things on top. It's still there, buried underneath. So what can you do? Stop covering it up. Be honest. Be open. That's the key. Positivity is not pretending like everything is okay or forcing yourself to see a "better" side. Positivity is being good to yourself. Realistically consider the possibilities, then consciously choose to believe in yourself.
