When it comes to living in a new environment with new people, the atmosphere of college life can be a hard thing to overcome. However, being in college, one must attempt to get along with people who are different from them. Allowing oneself to overcome uncomfortable living situations allows one to grow in maturity and allows for their character to flourish. Here are some steps to help push an awkward first meeting to into a lifelong friendship:
1. Get to know one another.
The most awkward part about move-in day is that, for most, you have zero clue on who your roommates actually are. Yes, you stalked them on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and Tumblr (if that’s still a thing) and yet you only know the surface. Through their social media, you get to see their outfit for homecoming, what their family looks like, and maybe, if you are lucky, what kind of dog they have. But, how much of your roommate are you really getting to know? At the most, you are seeing the superficial, first layer of their complicated life. To form a deeper connection, get to know one another. Ask the typical questions one would ask a stranger. Where are you from? What do your parents’ do for a living? When can I meet your dog? You know, the normal things.
2. Realize that everyone has baggage.
Coming into college, some students have had a multitude of obstacles they had to deal with. Some have had a death in the family while some are struggling with present friendships. It is not a good idea to come right out with all of one’s life struggles, but form a bond filled with trust so each roommate is safe with discussing the obstacles they have faced.
3. Understand that everyone has their differences.
As you get to know this practical stranger, form a stronger connection. Understand that everyone has differences. Some like to go to bed at nine p.m. whereas some like to go to bed at two a.m. There are students who have tough majors and have three papers due a week. Understand that that roommate may be up for a few extra hours and that is okay. It is okay that one roommate likes to have the light on and the other one prefers a desk lamp. And it is also okay if your roommate is not from the area. This gives you a chance to show them around a bit.
4. Handle differences with one another first.
The differences between one another may be a little more than just a sleeping schedule. Some may be up all hours of the night making a lot of noise which is inconsiderate to the other occupant. However, most differences can be handled between the roommates because, the fact of the matter is, that you are all adults and adults have to be able to handle their differences and be able to express them in a healthy manner. Have room meetings where you just lay it all out on the table, no judgement. Even if some meetings are mostly good things, you are handling all situations with one another.
5. Include one another.
A key step to getting to know one another, including each other in various activities can form a strong friendship. Also, it can lead to your roommate not feeling like they are alone in the transition to college. From the simple activities like going to dinner at the cafeteria together or to more strenuous activities like a weekend road trip, including your roommate is a great way to understand one another even more.
6. Understand personal space.
Coming from having my own room myself, acclimating to the roommate life is pretty hard. But, keeping the room clean and having as much equal space as possible is how to let your roommate know that you appreciate them and let them feel as though they have their own space in a cramped room.
7. Communicate with each other.
Above all of the steps, communicating with your roommate is the key to having a successful rooming situation. If you have a problem with your roommate(s), let them know. Odds are, they do not know that what they do bothers you. Also, once an obstacle faces you and your roommate, communicate how to overcome it together. Learn that communication is the key to trust. Communicating with one another can eliminate almost all problems that are faced by college teenagers and young adults.
In any college, not all roommates work out for the best. Some are ripped apart in childish ways while some are simply not compatible. Do not give up on your roommate; try your best to learn and grow with one another. You and your roommates were put together for a reason, let that reason be positive!
