47 days.
It has been 47 days since all of us received the E-Mail we all knew was coming, but were still dreading to read, nevertheless.
44 days.
It has been 44 days since some of us went back to campus on an emergency trip in order to bring home essential items we'd need for the next couple of weeks, while beginning online classes.
23 days.
It has now been 23 days since I permanently moved out of my dorm and said silent goodbyes to the hallways that were once filled with screams of laughter, and my room that had once been filled with my best friends.
While looking at photos and videos from this year, of some of the best moments of my life, it's hard to think about all the memories that were taken away, and all the goodbyes I'll never get.
I'll never get my last night sleeping in my dorm room. My last trip to the dining hall at 1:58 a.m. and getting yelled at because they were closing in 2 minutes. My last night coming back at 3 a.m. to a floor full of screaming, crying, laughter, and lots of love. My last night coming back at 5 a.m. to a tired and judgmental front desk security guard. My last time being woken up at 6 a.m. to banging on my door and broken exit signs, because it was National Marquette Day, and why wasn't I awake yet? My last dorm party. My last Tuesday lunch in Cobeen. My last time seeing the entire sophomore class in the Schroeder dining hall. My last time running into someone I may have wanted to avoid, but couldn't, because everyone goes to Wild to eat at some point. My last time being able to walk down the hall to see all my best friends, rather than having to walk down the block. My last goodbye to my RA, who may have not always been in his room when you needed him—but was always there when you needed him most. My last goodbye to everyone on my floor who made living with freshman not half as bad as it seems. My last goodbye to the dorm that had been my home for the past year, which held me together during the best and worst moments of my life. And my last goodbye to sophomore year.
You see, when you think of all these things that have been taken from you, or the things you wish you could go back and experience for just one more night, it's easy to fall down the self-loathing trap. Remember, it is okay to be disappointed. To feel angry, sad, confused, and hurt. But at some point, you must then remember there is so much to be thankful for, even in isolation.
If you find it hard to be stuck in your house with only your family, be thankful you have a house to be stuck in, and a family to be stuck with.
If you wish you could have gone to that concert that got postponed, be thankful for all the concerts you have already been able to attend, and how much greater it will be when you finally do get to go.
If you're angry you didn't get any of your lasts, be thankful you didn't get your senior year taken away, or your graduation, or your prom, or your final day as an undergrad.
As Marquette students, there are so many privileges we have that others do not, that we should be thankful for every day.
Yes, isolation is extremely difficult—it has brought me anxiety attacks, loneliness, a struggle to find a purpose. BUT it has also brought me a sense of gratitude and gratefulness.
Every single day I am thankful to have a place I call home. A loving and supporting family. Friends to FaceTime. Movies to watch. Books to read. Music to listen to. Food to eat.
Every single day I am thankful for all the memories I've made, all the places I've visited, all the concerts I've seen, all the sporting events I've attended, all the moments I've celebrated, and all the future endeavors I have waiting for me once this is over.
Every single day I am thankful to be alive.
We will never again have the time we have right now to slow down and take in every single day. To figure out who we are as individuals. To get to know ourselves on a deeper and more personal level without any interruptions. To figure out what we love about ourselves. About others. About life.
Times may be troubling, but there are always brighter days ahead—and for that I am thankful as well.
Remember, you are not alone.
And soon we'll get better.
