With all the changes that I have made to my life in the past year I can confidently say that I am where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. These past few weeks I have started to feel a new season of my life beginning. The start of this new season hasn't brought anything profound with it but I am definitely feeling a shift within myself. However, one thing I have struggled with and continue to struggle with is being fully content with the season of life that I am in.
It's a hard thing when I know that I am so blessed but constantly striving to have more. As humans (but especially as women) it is often difficult for us to feel satisfied. We are never pretty enough, we never feel like we are getting the attention we deserve, we don't have the social life that we long for, and we seek relationships that we don't have: our hunger for things is eternal.
We all have our own personal wants- things that we wish would have happened in our lives already and things that we pray for daily. Sometimes we wonder why God hasn't already given us what we've asked for and other times we decide just to take matters into our own hands. I've done both of these things. I have days where I can be completely reliant on God and know that his plan is perfect that in His good time all things will happen. And then I have those days where I am just tired of waiting: I need answers and I decide that it would just be better if I over and let God be my co-pilot. The trouble with both of these scenarios is that in neither one do I genuinely give up control to God and continue on living my life in the season that he has currently placed me. I am either pretending to give control to him while I secretly dream up scenarios and still have grip on the reigns or I just give up on God's plan completely.
Just in the past week or so I have been able to reach a point where I feel as though I am able to embrace the season I am in without yearning for another one to start. I have gotten to the point where I have told myself that I am where I am at for a reason. All of my previous months of plotting and planning and dreaming have not changed the current state of my life one bit: at this point the only thing I can do is pray while I live life out the way I am supposed to be right at this moment.