I can say that 2016 was a year of change. At the beginning of the year, I had a vision of how I would finish high school, have a great and productive summer, start college, and feel like I had life figured out. Yes I did finish high school, and I made a lot of great memories this summer, and I started my freshman year of college- but it all came about differently than I thought it would.

Don't get me wrong, 2016 was a very great year. I did things that I am very proud of, like winning sectionals in tennis and saying yes to Taylor University. I earned my high school diploma and gave a speech at graduation. I made so many great memories; like prom and a girls trip to Florida. I made some really good decisions and invested my time into things I am passionate about. I have never felt so loved by friends and family before, and I discovered parts of myself that I never knew was there.

But as great as this past year was, I went through some things that I would've gladly gone without. I dealt with hurt and pain, and struggled more than I ever have with depression and anxiety. I had days where I questioned my purpose, and I even questioned God and what He was doing. I asked "why me?" more times than I can count, and I have cried- and cried hard. As I look back, I made some bad choices, did some things I regret, and I involved myself in some things that drained me.

As hard as it is for me to admit just how differently this year has gone based on how I thought it might go... I can tell you one thing: it has been a growing experience.

Even though I didn't get life figured out like I wanted, because of the things that happened in 2016, I know the kind of person I would like to be in 2017.

I want to be motivated. I want set goals for things I really want, and go for them with full force. Even if there are a few road-blocks that get in my way, I want to be able to find a way around them or through them, because I have my mind set on getting to my goal.

I want to be secure in my identity. I want to know who I am and what I stand for, and not be ashamed of my personality. I want to realize that I have been created with a purpose and have a lot to offer. I want to be okay with the fact I might not fit everyone's criteria.

I want to make a difference. Whether it's simply by saying hello to the girl I pass on the sidewalk, or being involved in more community service, or going on another mission trip- I want to know I'm doing what I can to make a difference.

I want to have discernment. I want to be able to go for the things I want, but be able to know when certain things are not what I need. I want to be able to say no to the things that will drain me and yes to the things that will fill me.

I want to be able to love unconditionally. I hope that I can have a "servant's heart" and put others before myself. Even when people hurt me or do me wrong, I hope I can learn to forgive and forget and still give them the respect I hope they will give me.

I want to passionately pursue Christ. My relationship with God is the first and foremost important thing to me- even if I don't always act like it. I would like to exemplify what Christ has done for me and the love and grace He has shown me; and to do anything I can to grow closer to Him.

I want to be adventurous. I hope that my heart can stay wild and my spirit can be fierce in my life endeavors. I hope that I don't allow fears to hold me back from exploring and taking in nature. I want to come to the end of my life knowing I lived to the fullest.

I want to be positive. When I wake up in the morning, I want to take on the day without fear of messing up, but to know that even if I do, it's not the end of the world. I want to be able to look on the bright side of situations and stay hopeful.

I want to own my past. Even though there are things I am not proud of and things I regret, I want to be able to understand and accept that it has helped create the person that I am today. Though it helped shape me, it does not define me. My past is my past and it does not decide who I am going forward.

I want to set a foundation for a bright future. I want to make sure whatever I am doing today- not tomorrow- is something that the future me would thank myself for. I want to know that I'm doing what I can to be successful, striving for my goals, and being the best me I can be.

I'm sure 2017 won't go exactly as planned, but to the best of my ability will I try to be motivated, to become secure in my identity, to make a difference and use discernment. I will work to love unconditionally and passionately pursue Christ. I want to be adventurous and positive, and learn to accept my past. In 2017, I will do things that lay a foundation for a bright future. I will be the best I can be.

So here is to a new year, and to a new me.