"For what it's worth: it's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
When I graduated high school, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I went to a university that was well-known for what I wanted to do and was full of people I wanted to be. At least, so I thought.
After two years, I realized the path I was working so hard to make through wasn't the path I was supposed to be on. It took me a while, but I finally admitted to myself how unhappy I really was. It was time for me to make a change. That is when I decided to transfer schools and change my major completely.
The idea of starting over was definitely scary, but the thought of living my life for someone else's happiness scared me even more. I have just recently embarked on my new journey, but here is what I have learned so far.
First off, having a grand overall goal is an amazing start, but it can definitely be overwhelming. When starting over, it is important to slightly loosen your tight grip on that big picture and instead, figure out several smaller steps that ultimately lead to your main goal.
Setting small, attainable goals help you reach your dream without the feeling of heavy bricks weighing down on your shoulders and chest. Every time you reach a new mini goal, you instantly become more confident in your work, and you're motivated to continue.
Secondly, just because you are starting over does not mean you are supposed to completely forget your past. Starting over takes a great amount of energy. You don't need to waste the little energy you have left trying to block out old memories.
Running from your past is not a permanent solution. It has a funny way of sneaking up on you. Instead, it is better to embrace it, learn from it and move forward.
Thirdly, it is crucial to have a strong support system who can simply be there for you. When I first decided to change paths, I was terrified about what my family would say. More specifically, I was worried about how my parents would feel. I never wanted to disappoint them.
When I finally gathered the courage to tell them, they were supportive, but they didn't know how to advise me as I took the next step. I was frustrated with myself for not knowing what to do, and I ended up projecting that frustration onto my loved ones.
I felt like I was clumsily floating up in the air, and the road in front of me was covered in fog. My new path still isn't crystal clear, but I'm lucky to be surrounded by people who help ground me. Since some people don't find that support in friends or family, it's important to reach out to school advisors and counselors.
Last but not least, remember that you can't make everyone happy. There will most likely be a few people who don't agree with your new decisions. Quite frankly, we don't care about those people. After all, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
